Whenever I need advice on something, I like to go to an expert in the field. Protein shakes: Charlie Gasparino, ritual sacrifice: Lloyd Blankfein, foreign objects in ass: Ping Jiang, you get the idea. To that end, the last time I needed some real talk on love, I opened up my Rolodex and flipped through to 'H' for Hooker Fucker, Noted. I called up Eliot Spitzer and he gave it to me straight. I knew what his answer was going to be but I just need to hear him say it: "Love is steamrolling your opponents when they least expect it, which is to say, love is anal sex without a condom." So I sort of surprised that, when the question was posed at him again by The Big Think, his answer was an insanely awkward and rambling "It's one of these feelings that you sense when you meet somebody and there is a response that is different and is unique and is palpable. And it then changes over time...it becomes almost a dependence. And a sense of knowing somebody so well that you have merged as personalities, and know each other's thoughts and there's a comfort that is there, which is part of it, and equally important." But, whatever! Maybe his first answer was what he told me, and then was pressed to elaborate.