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Depraved Reuters Reporter Violates Stephen Schwarzman, Erin Andrews-Style

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We've written previously about the sick sons of bitches running the smut factory known as the Wall Street Journal. So this is the sort of thing I would expect from them, and not from Felix Salmon or the rest of the gang at Reuters but surprise! I was wrong. After the jump-- I won't put these obscenities on the main page of an upstanding financial publication with standards and good taste-- a moment between unsuspecting Steve Schwarzman and a banana is salaciously captured so perverted little voyeurs like yourself can get off at your desks.

Is this what you do, Felix? You go around with your one hand on your video camera and your other hand on your Salmon, assembling footage for Wall Street Honchos Gone Wild, without their consent? Who's your next victim? Lloyd and the hot nuts he enjoys every afternoon? How's the peephole to Jamie Dimon's executive washroom coming along? This is some fucked up shit, even for you. Having said that--now that we're here-- perhaps a few tips for Mr. Steve? Don't be so matter a fact about it. Vary your pace- slow it down, speed up, take a big bite and then a couplea little ones. Use two hands. Yeah, just like that. Drizzle some chocolate on the tip. See if you can stick the whole thing in at once. Try it with Pop Rocks. Etc.
Stephen Schwarzman Eating A Banana [Felix Salmon via BI]