Introducing: The Lloyd Face

Author:
Bess Levin
Updated:
Jan 14, 2019
Original:
Jan 14, 2010

As previously mentioned, one of the greatest things that went down at yesterday's Financial Crisis Inquiry was the aggressive and plentiful display of Lloyd Blankfein's mug. The stink eye, the scrunched face, it was all spectacular. Whether it was waiting for Bill Thomas to finish his magnum opus on email, preparing to cut a bitch, or looking at the guy at the other end of the table, knowing he wasn't Ken Lewis but still having difficulty placing him, there it was. I don't know if this is an intimidation tactic, if he needs to have his eyes checked, or if it's involuntary, I just know we want, nay, need more of it in our lives, and would offer that Goldman would be wise to at least just consider introducing the Lloyd Cam, so we could have a live feed of this thing at all times. For now, we have this:

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Time was, Jamie Dimon was the most popular CEO on Wall Street and America's "Least Hated Banker," for reasons that included the fact that the man has soulful blue eyes, charisma out the ass, and was in charge of one of the banks that a) didn't go out of business during the financial crisis, like Lehman and Bear and b) supposedly didn't actually need the bailout money the government made it take (as JD has said previously), like Bank of America and Citigroup. The man, in the hearts of many and especially the adoring press, could do no wrong. Which is why it probably stung a lot that Lloyd Blankfein, a Wall Street CEO who also possesses more charm than a person would know what do do with, who was also in charge of a bank that neither went out of business during the financial crisis nor required the bailout money it was forced to take (according to GS), and who is also the owner of a pair of baby blues, though in his case ones that sparkle, could only do wrong. And while LB is not one to gloat at another's misfortune, especially that of a friend, he's obviously feeling pretty good about being living proof of the old saying, "only one Wall Street CEO's balls can be in a vise at a time," and right now it's JD's turn. Dimon did not attend the annual Robin Hood Foundation party [last night], but Blankfein was there, enjoying a rare night out of the spotlight. He shook hands, introduced his wife and, grinning broadly, posed for pictures. For months, Goldman Sachs has been portrayed as the callous Wall Street behemoth whose executives collected giant bonuses while America's housing crisis worsened and unemployment rose. But Monday night was different. "No one cares about Lloyd tonight. It is Jamie against the world, and that's got to feel good for Lloyd," another hedge fund manager said. And this is just the beginning. First, they stop calling you Satan and claiming you poisoned their food, next glowing profiles and cover stories devoting major column inches to your rippling biceps and the throngs of women you beat off with a stick. Dimon Pushes Blankfein Off Hot Seat At Charity Gala [Reuters] Robin Hood Scene: Blankfein, Soros, Rihanna [Bloomberg/Photo]

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