9:55 5 minutes to show time. While we wait:
(I have it on good authority that Geithner and Paulson have rehearsed the above moves and will be performing them in lieu of opening remarks. Or they'll just sit there and recuse themselves while turning red. It'll be one of these two things. Hoping against hope...)
10:10 Rep. Towns: "The AIG counterparties were given a piggy-bank full of taxpayer money and told 'help yourselves'."
E-Towns invites everyone to join him in fixing the system. Come on down.
10:18 Rep. Issa comes out with the big guns-- the old man and his dog, who told Issa bankruptcy would've been a better option, and who is putting together a jigsaw puzzle that will reveal a picture of Geithner shoving hundos in Lloyd's g-string.
10:20 T.Geith's eyebrows are not happy.
10:24 Geithner did what he did for the American people. He loves you all so damn much.
10:28 AIG was "the only fire company operating at the time." So TG whipped out his hose, and did what he had to do.
10:40 This decision didn't come easy. It was like Sophie's Choice out there.
10:42 Can we take a guess as to what the girl behind TG is cracking up about?
Rep. whose name I missed: If you had to pick one, would you say you were incompetent on the job, or jacking off on the job? If you had to pick.
Rep. Stephen Lynch: YOU SCALPED THE PEOPLE AT BEAR STEARNS! [Jimmy Cayne: Hell yes!]. AND IT STINKS TO HIGH HEAVEN! [Chuckles behind TG really liked this one]
11:35 Rep. Kaptur: Mr. Geither, who do you work for?
Kaptur: I'm just going to read off a list of the AIG counterparties whose balls you lovingly nuzzled, tell me which ones have you on payroll.
TG: I work for the people! Let me finish! I just wanna say, wait, stop let me finish!
11:38 When is Paulson going to come in and relieve TG? 'Cause Frodo is in serious danger of blowing a gasket.
11:45 Apparently Geithner couldn't get the AIG counterparties to accept less than 100 cents on the dollar because they were all really good negotiators, who do this for a living.
12:30 Geithner knew nothing, saw nothing, said nothing. Stop yelling at me!!!