Thanks, But No Thanks

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Updated:: Jan 14, 2019
Original:: Jan 4, 2010

Bradley Birkenfeld single-handedly made the U.S. government's case against UBS and forced the Swiss bank to hand over the names of more than 4,000 alleged tax cheats. But he's still going to jail.
The awesomely-named William Zloch, a federal judge in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., told Birkenfeld he's not getting out of the 40-month sentence he got for helping UBS clients skirt their taxes. And so, barring a change of heart or judge, Bradley Birkenfeld will be reporting to some sort of federal prison on Friday, despite his patriotic and totally not self-serving assistance to his government, which is $780 million richer as a result.

Birkenfeld sought a belated Christmas present, telling Zloch that he was "ready, willing and able" to spill more dirt on UBS and the people who pay it to avoid paying taxes.
Prosecutors were a little less sanguine about how helpful Birkenfeld was, despite admitting that they basically had no case against UBS without Birkenfeld's cooperation. They insisted on the clink, arguing that Birkenfeld was less forthcoming than he was taking credit for.
U.S. Judge Won't Reconsider Jail Sentence For UBS Informant [WSJ]

Carsten Kengeter, who finds inspiration in interesting places, has been replaced by Bear Stearns alum Sam Molinaro.

Remember Bradley Birkenfeld? He's the guy who single-handedly made the U.S. government’s case against UBS and forced the Swiss bank to hand over the names of thousands of tax cheats, which resulted in the US scoring $780 million from UBS and may have inspired some 33,000 Americans to "voluntarily disclose offshore accounts to the IRS, generating more than $5 billion." And yet, despite his assistance, Birkenfeld wasn't immediately thanked for a job well done. Instead, he was sentenced to forty months in prison (fair-ish, considering he showed a few clients how to avoid paying taxes himself) and told to piss off by the Internal Revenue Service, from whom he sought an award, because he was "not forthcoming about his own role in the scheme," even as a Justice Department attorney admitted that "...without Mr. Birkenfeld walking into the door of the Department of Justice in the summer of 2007, I doubt as of today that this massive fraud would have been discovered by the US government" (or as his lawyer put it, "They didn't know how to spell UBS until he showed up. He didn't just give them a piece of the puzzle. He gave them the entire puzzle"). Now, after doing 32 months at Schuylkill Federal Correctional Institution, getting let out early on account of "good-time credit," and living in a halfway house in New Hampshire, Birkenfeld has finally been thrown a bone. Bradley Birkenfeld, the former UBS AG banker who told the Internal Revenue Service how the bank helped thousands of Americans evade taxes, secured an IRS award of $104 million, an amount his lawyers said may be the largest ever for a U.S. whistle-blower. Birkenfeld told authorities how UBS bankers came to the U.S. to woo rich Americans, managed $20 billion of their assets, and helped them cheat the IRS. He pleaded guilty to conspiracy in 2008, a year after reporting the bank’s conduct to the Justice Department, U.S. Senate, IRS and Securities and Exchange Commission. He was released from prison Aug. 1...Birkenfeld, 47, worked at Zurich-based UBS, the largest Swiss bank, for five years. He sought a reward from the IRS of as much as 30 percent of any taxes the agency recovered as a result of his whistle-blowing activities. Clearly this whole thing should stir up a few questions inside you all, chief among them: how much money would it take to get you to befriend or get yourself employed with some rogue people so you can blow the whistle on them? Would you do any time for it? If so, how much? And are we talking Club Fed or a place where your roommate spoons you every night? UBS Whistle-Blower Secures $104 Million Award From IRS [Bloomberg]