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Happy Birthday, Lenny Dykstra *And* Jim Cramer

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That's right ladies-- the former friends share a date of birth, albeit different years. Cramer is turning 55 and Dykstra 47. I'm not sure what JC has to celebrate this year so let's focus on Nails who's turned it around just in time for the big day.

Though he's most likely still living out of a car, and having his bookie pay for drinks and and Twizzlers, Nails, as we said on Monday, is back in the game, with the launch of Nails Investments, focused on "nailing deep in the money calls." To that end, how about considering out less than the cost of investing in the Bernett Diversified Global Fund, for a home run level membership which, for a mere $899, will get you 3 forecasts weekly, emails, access to "full library and training," SMS updates, monthly live conference calls in which you'll get to speak with and ask Nails questions, and an official baseball signed by LD and addressed to you. Since Cramer has never publicly reversed his call on Lenny, "one of the greats in this business," we should assume he'll be signing up.


Prosecutors Want Jim Cramer-Endorsed Investor Lenny Dykstra To Do Thirty Months In Jail

They say that's the only way Dykstra* will learn that in our society, you can't rip toilets and other bathroom fixtures out of the floor and sell them to a pawn shops just because you feel like it, or drop trou for the cleaning staff.