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Job Of The Week: Pirate-Obsessed Hedge Fund Manager Wants You To Swab His Deck

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First, some housekeeping. As you're aware, a few months back, Tom Hudson made the seemingly wise decision to distance himself from the Pirate Capital name and all that it stands for (including but not limited to ass-bleeding, cockminnow fights on the floor, the (spawn of) Michael Bolton, the fall-out associated from nailing the spawn of Michael Bolton, the AUM shrinkage, and the Sugar Daddy dot com). He did so by instructing the intern manning the phone at the 800 Connecticut Avenue office in Norwalk not to answer "Pirate Capital" but "Captain Jack" and, more symbolically, by putting the actual pirate that had stood in the lobby for years into storage. Now, for reasons that have yet to reveal themselves but no doubt stem from Hudson's ridiculous, all-consuming, uncanny, really rather impressive and heretofore unmatched fetish for men who wear eye-patches, he's going by the name Doubloon Capital, which the naive among you will assume is a reference to a poker chip when in reality it's part of Tom-bone's sick addiction he just can't quit. Anyway! He's looking for some warm bodies. No experience necessary.

Entry level position for an aggressive analyst with 0-2 years of industry experience to work along side the portfolio manager of an event driven hedge fund. The ideal candidate has a working knowledge of the financial markets, is ready to work very long hours including weekends, thrives in a high pressure environment, and wants to learn more each day. Under the portfolio manager's direction the analyst will perform a variety of informational gathering tasks including: performing on site due diligence for companies, computer modeling, constructing historical trend analysis and looking for profitable trading opportunities.
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