Don't get too excited, young chippies-- the bank has merely been told it's allowed to pay out 1.3 billion pounds ($2.01 billion) as decreed by its overlords (the U.K. Treasury and U.K. Financial Investments, and the Queen's corgis).

That doesn't necessarily mean they will, and if they do make it rain out there it's probably going to be a mix of debt and piss (as Stephen Hester has previously noted, the "minimum" they can "get away with"). Sorry, but the kingdom needs a coupla new flat screens and there's talk of bringing on a third-- maybe even fourth-- head of global banking and markets in America to shoulder the responsibility of reaming out analysts over food-eating contests (Lyublinsky can't do it all himself!) and ripping tickets at the elevator ride. That kind of talent doesn't come cheap. But take heart! There are always alternative avenues by which to obtain your money.