Alexandra Penney, the Madoff victim ("I prefer the word 'casualty") who started blogging about her travails for the Daily Beast last year just turned her gig into a book deal. And now you can buy it! "The Bag Lady Papers" is a book she wrote out of fears of becoming a bag lady, "trudging the streets, cold and abandoned, with a shopping cart filled with tattered bags full of god knows what," after getting screwed by Bernie. Although she did lose money, the chance of her becoming a hobo was pretty slim, given that Alex has residences in Manhattan, the Hamptons and Florida. But hey, lemons-lemonade! This is not her first book, Alex (who "doesn't enjoy writing") also published "How to Make Love to a Man." We won't speculate about what fears brought her to write that one.