Erin Callan took a leave of absence from her job at Credit Suisse over a year ago. Since then, we'd heard nary a peep from the old girl. In our minds we knew she'd likely extended her vacation to something more permanent, but in our hearts we hoped against hope to wake up one morning and see her going at it with David Einhorn on Squawk Box, or posing in front of black cars in the Wall Street Journal. Today Charlie "I'm gonna nut in Maria Bartiromo et al's eyes" Gasparino has crushed that dream. The ace reporter, working the phones all morning, delivers this devastating blow sure to rock your world: "Callan has formally 'retired' from the securities business, according to people with knowledge of the matter." The situation is not fluid.