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Hank Paulson Explains His Disfigurement

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Hank Paulson has a mangled pinky finger. The thing is terrifying, and a huge distraction to anyone who happens to lay eyes on it, either in person or while it's on display on TV during a Congressional hearing. I don't say this to be mean, it's just a fact. And it's not like it doesn't have its uses, too, like for freaking out drunk people (Ken Lewis) and for fun party tricks. Anyway, we'd always figured it got that way during some sort of bird watching expedition (those hawks don't fuck around) or that it was caught in a meat slicer, or whatever. I'd never asked, though, because the way I was raised, it's just something you don't do. Luckily Jake Tapper has no such qualms about bringing up people's glass eyes or bum legs or thing of that nature.

The pinky finger on your left hand looks mangled—is that a football injury from your Dartmouth days?

Yeah. I’ve forgotten which game, but on one play this finger went out this way. This other one, that way. The team doctor pulled them out, put some tape around them and sent me right back out there. When the swelling went down we could tell they were dislocated.