John Thain Cancels Bonuses At CIT

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As you're aware, John Thain took over at the only firm that would have him (kidding, he's the best), CIT Group, earlier last month. In his first order of business, Mr. T made sure to let everyone know he will not be redecorating his office like he did at Merrill, presumably before he saw just how hideous the place turned out to be. In his second order of business, he canceled all bonuses. The news was announced on an employee-wide call yesterday, and is said to have come as a bit of a shock, as people were expecting to get their numbers this week and their money on March 16 (though I suppose you could make the argument the former was delivered on schedule, it just happens to be zero). According to Thain, 2009 was "a difficult year for CIT, and though full year results have yet to be published, there is no question losses will be in the billions. As such, and given the sensitives in Washington and the world, it wouldn't be right to give out bonuses as planned."

So, you're getting nothing but dry those tears because there will be some not very attractive retention packages to speak of. They'll be paid out in June and next December and will include "50 percent of our overvalued stock that no one wants," according to one employee (the top 20 executives will get 100% of their retention bonus in said stock). Also, lest any of you think he's not deadly serious about this office shit, John Thain has apparently been using a folding card table as his desk.

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John Thain Is Ready For His Next Challenge

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John Thain Awarded The One Bonus That Can *Never* Be Clawed Back

When people think of John Alexander Thain, as people surely often do, lots of thinks come to mind. High school wrestling. Competitive bee-keeping. Masterful stewardship of Wall Street firms. $68,179 19th Century Credenzas. $35,000 commodes. $28,091 curtains. $87,784 area rugs. $1,405 garbage cans. A keen eye for interior design and fabulous taste in general. Though we knew the current CIT Group chief executive officer was a father, we probably wouldn't have included his parenting skills on a list his noted attributes and accomplishments, only because he has too many to mention. Apparently this represents a gross oversight because John Thain? Is a phenomenal dad. Award-winning, in fact. he National Father’s Day Committee, an entity of the Father’s Day/Mother’s Day Council, each year confers Father of the Year Honors on contemporary lifestyle leaders of our culture whose lives are dedicated to family, citizenship, charity, civility, responsibility and reverence. The funds raised by our Annual Father of the Year Awards Presentation are directed to the support of worthwhile concerns affecting men, fathers, and families. The objective of our program is to enhance the meaning of Father’s Day and encourage universal observance. 2012 Honorees include: Oscar Feldenkreis, Reynold Levy, Shaquille O'Neal, and John Thain. An award of this magnitude of course deserves a little more than a press release, so naturally, there will be a luncheon and presentation on June 14. Until then, the group is accepting nominations to add to the list, so if you think any of your favorite dads have been overlooked, do speak up today. Ken Lewis could use this. Father Of The Year Awards [M&D via BI]