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Hedge Fund Manager Eric Rosenfeld Wants To Tell Your Kids A Story About Asses

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When you're a big time hedge fund manager, it's important to have outlets through which to blow off the stress of the markets. Some buy art. Some play golf. Others fuck hookers. A very small group write books, usually related to what they do all day. Crescendo Partners founder Eric Rosenfeld knew he wanted to add author to his list of occupations but he wasn't much interested in talking about the money making game. He wanted to tell a richer, more meaningful story. A story about a woman with a huge ass, and a dirty little secret.

“Mrs Buttkiss is the charming tale of a big woman with a big secret,” Rosenfeld writes of his meisterwerk. “She’s been holding in a fart…forever. What happens when Mrs. B finally lets it out? Will her greatest fears be realised? Or will the outcome be…magical?”

No, I kid you not. Apparently, the investment guru chanced upon the idea when trying to settle down his three young children for bed, and hasn’t looked back since.

Obviously Eric is not the only one of his kind out there, though he's the only one to go public with his dream. I know of at least half a dozen hedge fund mangers dying to write children's novels, some on this very subject, others that start "Once upon a time, there was a good, law-abiding hedge fund manager who married a mental patient." And obviously I think those tomes should be authored "...with Bess Levin." Just putting it out there: imagine the possibilities.

UPDATE: I spoke with Eric and am interviewing him re: asses this afternoon. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

Mrs. Buttkiss And The Big Surprise [Shop Mrs. Buttkiss]
Hedge Fund Boss Kicks Up A Stink For Kids [cityAM]