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Hedge Fund Manager Throws Keys In Valet's Face, Accuses Valet Of Hiding Said Keys

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Not sure if any of you have learned this lesson yet but let it be known, there is no justice in the world of parking your damn car wherever you want. Richard Grubman learned this the hard way Tuesday night, when he attempted to leave his vehicle, a 2007 BMW X5 SUV, in a lot at the Ritz reserved only for residents. After being informed by a valet that the mom-mobile would have to be moved, the Highfields Capital manager chose to do what anyone in his position probably would, which was to throw an obscenities-laced "curbside fit." Not feeling his message was sufficiently being communicated, Grubs then threw his keys in the valet's face, "striking him in the upper lip area." It was at that moment, while the blood gushed from the worker's face that Rich asked himself a serious question-- "What can I do to top this? People are going to talk about the incident and when they do I want them to focus so not much on the fact that I'm a self-important prick but the total fucking lunatic aspect." And that's when it came to him.

Accuse the guy you just attacked of stealing your keys.

“He was excited and arguing with everybody,” valet manager Ephrem Temesgen told the Herald yesterday. “He accused us of keeping his keys. I said, ‘Sir, we don’t have your keys.’ ”

Hotel security reported they found Grubman’s keys under a Range Rover.

Grubman said he “did throw his car keys on the hood of the car but denied hitting” the valet, according to the police report.

Honcho’s Ritz access KO’d after alleged hissy fit [Boston Herald via Gawker]


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And dying from a form of cancer that attacks alpha generation, they say.