Lloyd Blankfein Had A Little Chat With The Guy Who Signs Matt Taibbi's Paychecks

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When Lloyd Blankfein agreed to attend Obama's speech this morning, only because he absolutely had to and not because he just has buckets of free time to mosey up to Astor Place, he knew there'd be some people there he didn't want to see. Bob Diamond. Shmuck reporters. Obama's favorite banker who can do no wrong (who actually turned out to be a no show, which rankled LB even more that his presence would have, because Fabio can do whatever he wants and nobody gives him shit for it).

Lloyd did not anticipate coming face to face with the guy who supported Matt Taibbi's little attempts at fiction writing, because really, who the fuck invited the publisher of Rolling Stone? And yet, there he was. Jann Wenner. The guy who gave Taibbi-cat the green light to sit at his typewriter trying to come up with theories for how Goldman Sachs has been able to take over the world, pausing only to periodically make sure the Thermos of horse semen in the fridge hadn't congealed.

In truth, when Blankfein first spied the guy across the room, he was stunned. Not because it was Taibbi's boss but because, as he whispered to Gary Cohn, "Damn, Kurt Russel has put on weight." After the GS president corrected him and yanked his arm back anticipating what was about to happen (reader poll: would it really have been that big a deal for LB to do a crotch grab in Wenner's direction?), it was decided that Blanks would walk over and say hey.

The publisher said Blankfein, who he'd never met, approached him before the speech began and said, "I feel like I know you," mentioning the vampire squid article.

Have to say, kind of disappointed Blankfein didn't go with the best party trick ever, which is to walk up to someone in a crowded room and go "I feel like I know you...Oh, that's right. I know how I know you. You raped me!" And also disappointed that we have no further details on the chat. Obviously, though, you guys know what LB is like and could probably figure it out. What shit in particular do we think was shot?

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Matt Taibbi Is Disappointed In Wall Street

The next hedge fund manager to invest in Apple gets a horse semen pie to the face. ...all those super-rich people who turned to hedge funds with their millions in the hopes that bunches of Whiz-Kids from Wharton and Harvard and Yale would find unseen and wildly creative investment ideas to fatten their fortunes – all those rich clients are actually finding out now that those same Whiz Kids are buying Apple just like the rest of us [...] Jesus. After all that craziness in the last decade or so, after MF and the London Whale and all that nuttiness, this is what it comes down to? These guys are buying Apple? Couldn't we have just started off doing that and saved ourselves all that trouble? [...] Someday we'll get back to the time when the really smart guys from the best schools went to work for companies that built actual products, engineered more efficient cars, cured diseases, etc. Because it seems like our best minds kind of suck at investing. More Evidence That Wall Street Is Overpaid [TAIBBLOG]