Skip to main content

"Pretty Okay Dude" Defense Turns Out Not To Work For Tom Petters

  • Author:
  • Updated:

Tom Petters was sentenced by a judge today for his $3.65 billion Ponzi scheme and surprise! The fact that his lawyer described him as a "a flawed, but benevolent individual, a very decent guy" (save for the whole massive scam thing) did not help much.

A federal judge sentenced Minnesota Petters to 50 years in prison...The sentence means the 52-year-old founder of Petters Group Worldwide likely will spend the rest of his life behind bars. Prosecutors sought a 335-year sentence, while the defense said a term as short as four years was more appropriate. Petters blew kisses to family members in the packed St. Paul, Minnesota courtroom after U.S. District Judge Richard Kyle handed down the sentence.


It Turns Out That The Feds Have Been Onto Martin Shkreli For Years

Martin is a victim of what he did last year, and he has been for years...

Dan Loeb Did Pretty Okay For Himself Last Month

He's got a fallback career as a ghostwriter of letters that will cause the recipients to piss their pants in fear but for now it looks like this whole hedge fund manager thing is panning out pretty well.

Best Defense Ever For Robbing A Bank Not Good Enough To Avoid Jail Time

Pour one out for bank robbing performance artists everywhere.