THE MOST IMPORTANT GOLDMAN STORY OF THE DAY (Involves Complaints About A Steamroom)

Fuck the SEC and its baseless charges. Screw the Rajaratman-loving director. That all pales in comparison and gravity to this. As you know Goldman has new headquarters. And guess what? Some people aren't very happy. With the move comes a little good and a whole lotta bad. First, the good, sore consolation prizes in light shitty views and being forced to look at each other's dicks only if you choose to do so:

* a gym with classes like "Awesome Abs."

* a panorama that includes New York Harbor.

* Sugar and grease: "the Sky Lobby cafeteria that offers a deep panini lineup and deadly cupcakes"

And now, on with the bad. The so very bad:

* Managing directors almost always get windowless inside offices ("I used to have an office with a view," explained one managing director. "Now I need binoculars to see sunlight.")

* Vice presidents, many of whom had offices before the move, now sit at open-space workbenches that in an earlier era would have been called a typing pool. ("I haven't had a desk like this since high school," said one employee who asked not to be named.)

* The new steam rooms for men and women are drawing mixed reviews. Some employees find the idea of "steaming" with co-workers objectionable. Others, not so much. "Once you have seen your colleagues naked in the locker room, steaming with them isn't that weird," says one employee.