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Day 30: A Bunch Of Idiot Traders Drop By The Office And Steve Hisses At Them And Pisses In Their General Direction

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Early last week, we were alerted to a message board containing a comment by a woman who accosted Bill Ackman at a recent General Growth Properties hearing. In it, she recounted their meeting and although perhaps mentally unstable, had a genius idea on her hands. Here is the relevant text:

"I waited Till Mr. Ackman was not talking to anyone, and shook his hand and told him he was one of my heros. He asked me who I was and I said I was a proud tenant and Artist at the South Street Seaport, and prould shareholder. He said I looked like a Artist, I told him thats what people said last time I was in GGP's hearing. I told him the next German Shepard dog I get I will name him Bill Ackman, and the last German Shepard I had was named Warren Buffet [ all true ] I told him that I used to get cards from my Vet that said Warren Buffett needed his rabies and distemper shots.I told him I would send him the cards about Bill Ackman dog for his shots. He laughed and I feel I amused him, slightly charmed him and was slightly foolish. LOL!!!

Obviously, we were inspired and immediately dispatched someone to purchase a fluffy white cat for the Dealbreaker office. We named it after our favorite hedge fund manager and moving forward, will be providing you with daily updates of our time together. Here's how life with Stevie has been going so far.

Day 1: Came into the office today and was dismayed to see that our fur baby had mistaken my keyboard for his litter box. Bad Stevie.

Day 3: I've always said I wasn't going to be one of those owners who dressed up her pet. Nevertheless, despite having a thick coat, Stevie looked a little chilly today (we keep the temperature at 69 degrees Fahrenheit to make sure no one dozes off) so I put him in a fleece jacket made specially for cats. He has never looked happier.

Day 7: I'm becoming one of those owners who sends people pictures of their cats, as though anyone cares. Unfortunately, Stevie seems to hate having his picture taken and I was only able to get two this morning before he hissed at me and ran away. Later, he stole my keys and wouldn't give them back until I showed him that I'd deleted photos.

Day 10: Knowing that I can't be the only one who finds Stevie devastatingly handsome, I entered him in to the Cat Fanciers' Association (CFA) annual cat show. I just know we're gonna win big.

Day 14: This afternoon I put Stevie in his carrier and brought him with me to a meeting at a hedge fund called Ping Capital. The founder asked if he could hold him and said that having his own pussy, he had some cat clothes laying around and would we like this dress for Stevie? I told him I think it's abusive and cruel to dress up animals and besides, Stevie is a boy cat (maybe he thought we'd named it after S. Nicks?) but he claimed that didn't matter. "He'll look great in it," Ping said, licking his lips. He was also very interested to hear if we'd be having Stevie neutered. He kept insisting we had to do it, saying Stevie would be a better behaved cat for it. Maybe I'm being paranoid but the way he kept pressing the issue made me extremely uncomfortable. We're never going back there.

Stay tuned.


Bill Ackman And David Einhorn’s Love Blossomed On A Subway Platform But Now They Might Not Even Give Up Their Seat If The Other One Was Pregnant

Henry Winkler once said, "Assumptions are the termites of relationships."1 In 2011, Bill Ackman assumed it was okay to talk to The New York Times about David Einhorn's business and, like a homeowner forced to move out for three days while a pest control company sprays the place, he's been forced to pay for it, big time.