Dunkin Donuts Food Eating Challenge Underway

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11:00 A financial services hack is about to attempt 50 munchkins in 40 minutes. This strikes me as a bit weak but then again, so many of you have failed at even weaker challenges (20 vending machine items over the course of 8 hours? 5 bags of chips in 100 minutes) that we'll take it. Mixed box-- chocolate glazed, regular glazed, sugar coated, jelly filled. He's 24, 5 '11 and 175 lbs. Contender is a water polo player in his free time and "there is talk of some Speedo-wearing consequence if he fails."

11:10: 15 munchkins down, 35 to go. "Faster-than expected start."

11:12: I've been asked to add that "he is a premature balder, and also considers himself a Professional 'Bro'."

11:24: 34 down, 16 to go. "He is slowing down though and is no longer talking smack. I told him he should be eating the heavier munchkins first, he responded with 'Shut the hell up.' Also, forgot to mention he had a Bacon Egg and Cheese a few mins before starting."

11:27: 37 down, 13 to go.

11:32: "This tastes like cardboard" he says. 43 down, 7 to go. Onlooker: "His face is starting to turn red and looks like he is in agony. He just left to get a glass of water. He is now telling people not to look at him."

11:35: 45 down, 5 to go. "He is completely silent. He is trying to drink water, looks like this is going to be a close/weak finish with the pace he is going at. Just looked into the box, only jelly munchkins left. He's too sick to be pissed."

11:39: "He hasn't eaten a single munchkin in the last two minutes. This embarrassing."

11:40: FAIL. "He called it quits with four munchkins remaining. After a few gags, he headed immediately for the bathroom."

Postmortem: I don't want to be too hard on the guy but I can't hold back here-- this was a cake walk of a challenge that resulted in an abysmal fail. I'm sickened by the display today and the only thing that can possibly pull me out of this emotional hole is if someone successfully completes a Double Down this afternoon. That's it.

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First Food Eating Challenge Of 2013: Underway

It's another vending machine challenge and you know how we feel about those (too much time, not enough food, doesn't put hair on anyone's chest) BUT it does involve a contract (described as "amazing" by the half of Dealbreaker that was at one time licensed to practice law in New York), the terms of which state that in the event of a loss, the loser will pay for a lunch he's not invited to, so we've got award points for that.

Food Eating Challenge Of The Day: "It's Not Clear What's Going On In His Mind And Body"

As you all are well aware, from time to time we cover food eating challenges around these parts. We don't chronicle all the feats of gastrointestinal fortitude that come our way, though, because while we love you all, not all of your FECs constitute what we'd consider an actual challenge worth covering. As previously discussed, our high bar has everything to do with the first contest we ever wrote about (as a postmortem), which involved a man named Oyster Boy, who consumed 244 oysters in 1 hour at Ulysses, throwing down the gauntlet down for one of you to pick up, vis-à-vis goring yourself for sport. Do we really expect anyone to match OB in magnitude or strength of stomach lining? No, we do not. Having said that, "challenges" such as eating 8 vending machine items in 12 hours (or in an unlimited amount of time!) are not going to cut it. It's not an exact science but we look for FECs that are imaginative, topical, and/or represent a high degree of difficulty. (And while we wouldn't actually advise it, live streaming the whole thing would make our day.) Which brings us to today's challenge. It occurred at an investment bank in midtown and although it loses points for not letting us know ahead of time so that we could chronicle the thing in real time, there are a number of things we like about it. Intern vs. VP. [Redacted] intern's last day (ever?). A dozen donuts each from our friends at DD. 1 hour limit to finish...Intern: larger build, 6'1" and extremely ambitious. VP: fit and 5'8" with a vicious appetite. Identical donut selection includes: - 2 chocolate - 2 glazed - 1 sugar - 2 strawberry frosted - 2 chocolate frosted - 1 blueberry - 1 Oreo crumble - 1 Boston creme VP downed the whole thing in 13:31. Intern disappointingly tapped out shortly after at 9 donuts and a bite. Intern is feeling "terrible," is alternating between a sugar rush and mild depression, and wants to sleep under his desk. It's not clear what's going on in his mind and body. Besides looking very uncomfortable, he's having a hard time responding to questions with any answer besides "I don't know." He's buying drinks for everyone tonight. Obviously there's zero sense of urgency here as a result of getting a recap rather than doing it live. But! Twelve adult-sized donuts (as opposed to a bunch of munchkins)? Good. Thirteen minutes for the whole spread? Good. Pitting a superior against an underling (rather than making a couple of interns race each other)? GOOD. Take these ideas, particularly the last one and run with them. Feel free to come up with your own but at least just consider making founder vs. peasant/30 minutes/2 chocolate fountains each/70-100 items to dip/race to the finish happen.

Does Your Next Food Eating Challenge Involve Binge Drinking Herbalife's Formula 1 Nutrition Shake?

As many of you know, around these parts we are constantly debating the merits of various financial services employees' food eating challenges. Historically, we've detracted points for allowing the participants far too much time to complete the task at hand (opening bell to close, might as well just make it limitless), an insufficient volume of food (a box of Munchkins, considered by many to be a snack), and lack of originality (vending machine challenges have been done). On the flip side, we've applauded creativity (an investment banker and 500 Starburst enter a room and there's a webcam involved),* obscene amounts of food and enough sugar to cause hyperglycemia (244 oysters, a cupcake of death), and topicality (the delicacy that is the Sausage Pancake Bite: yes! Double Downs: double yes!). Which brings us to this: the Herbalife Food Eating Challenge. New York Observer reporter Patrick Clark noticed that while the Herbalife story has been covered by many an angle so far (the blood-sucking pyramid scheme angle, the grandma angle, the Dan Loeb/UWS hedge fund manager on UWS hedge fund manager angle), the most important angle of all had yet to be explored: the actual ingesting of this stuff angle.