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The SEC Gives Staffers Another Way to Access Online Porn

Finally! After six grueling months of negotiations with the union representing Securities and Exchange Commission’s employees, the agency plans to issue 294 BlackBerry’s to certain staffers by the end of July. We're not sure whether the new devices will be the old-school Berry’s with the side-scroll wheel or the newfangled 3G models with web browsing, but you can be sure SEC favorites like www.ladyboyx.com will be blocked.

If You Can Find Him, This ex-Goldman Sachs Analyst Owes the SEC $28 Million

After ratting on his pals for insider trading, former Goldman analyst David Pajcin decided to hightail it out of town. (Most likely to his native Croatia, although we doubt he’s holed up with his underwear seamstress aunt.) But if authorities can find him, and you know the crack investigators at the SEC will, Pajcin will owe the government $28 million, according to a judgement handed down by U.S. District Judge Kimba Wood late yesterday.

Judge Jed Up SEC's Ass Again

These days, Judge Jed Rakoff’s name creates about as much agita inside the SEC as as Bernie Madoff. If Wall Street’s cops on the beat didn’t have enough to deal with already, now Judge Jed is up their ass about a seemingly meaningless legal settlement in the Galleon insider trading case.

SEC Posts Confidential Citadel Document

Oops. Those crazy porn-surfers at the Securities and Exchange Commission inadvertently posted a confidential earnings report from Citadel’s brokerage and market making unit on their website. The report, picked up by Bloomberg, shows Citadel Securities posted earnings of $81.6 on revenue of $1.01 billion last year.