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Waiting For Jamie Dimon To Do The Right Thing

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When I think of JPMorgan CEO James Dimon, a few things come to mind. His (devastatingly good) looks. His charm. His jokes. His (alleged) illegal tire dumping. I also think of a guy who takes pride in his roots, which the Dimon family can trace back to a little European country going through a rough patch at the moment. And so I must ask--where the hell is the love? I'm not the only one wondering these things. I was out with some people who are paid to think about such matters last night and they were aghast at the notion hat JD has yet to use JPMorgan to bless Greece with his Croesus touch. People sincerely want to know why he hasn't offered to buy the place for 1/100th of what it's worth. For the love of Jimmy Cayne's roach clip, he did it for Bear's trailer park of hemp and now, when it's about family, JD is nowhere to be found? He needs to do something, show some freaking support for C's sake, and if it's not the suggestion I just made (which is should be), these are the options he must choose from:

a) Buy the Acropolis, get the original cast of Rent to perform on the steps (with Charlie Gasparino playing Angel), auction off the tickets

b) appear in a series of 30-second commercials defending Greece's fiscal 'strategy' that conclude "Just like in life, all of Greece's successes depend on me. I'm the man who has the brass balls, I'm the man who can push Lehman into bankruptcy with a collateral call faster than fuck. So that is why I am better than everyone in the world, and you should listen to every damn word I have to say. Kiss my ass and suck my dick. Everyone."

c) Break out your tear gas masks- it's time for another protest

d) Wildcard- you tell us