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Woman Who Called Obama Hottie With Smokin' Body Full Of Regrets

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Yesterday, we learned an important lessons re: how to get on Obama's good side. If you're looking to convince the prez to shut it on the reform bill, or lay off Wall Street's asses, or appear on TV extolling the virtues of Blankfein's golden scrot, plying him with Duff's wings and complimenting his bod will get you far. Today, the woman who taught us that lesson, Luann Haley, has expressed that she probably wouldn't have done what she did if she thought everyone was going to make such a big deal out of it. Jamie, LB, Uncle Vik, et al take note: unless you want to be accused of being a "homewrecker" (and I know at least some of you do, so feel free to disregard this tip), consider being a bit more discreet when asking 'Bam if he's been working out and/or if you can squeeze his bicep. The men's room would be a good place though anywhere away from the glare of the camera should do just fine.

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Woman Wants $150 Trillion-ish From MF Global, Thinks She Is Barack Obama

Earlier this month, the Journal explored the difficulty MF Global customers have encountered in attempting to get their "missing" back, after the firm went down for the dirt nap last October. One woman who can relate all too well? Barack Obama AKA Angela Dozier-Carter, who is owed $150 trillion and then some, of which she hasn't seen a dime. Sadly, it doesn't look like President Dozier-Carter will be seeing any money any time soon, as MF Global's lawyers have filed a motion dismiss her claim, calling them "patently absurd on their face." In related news, this isn't the first time ADCBO has been screwed out of money rightfully owed to her. On January 27, 2010, Ms. Dozier-Carter filed two more complaints in the Court of Federal Claims, identified as case numbers 10-63 and 10-64. In Complaint 10-63, Ms. Dozier-Carter seeks $25 million as a reward for capturing Saddam Hussein. In Complaint 10-64, Ms. Dozier-Carter seeks $400,000 in annual salary and expenses because she allegedly "took the Oath of Office for the 44th President of the United States of America as Barack Obama[.]" This is far from over. MF Global Motion To Expunge Claim [PDF] Dozier-Carter v. U.S. [Leagle] Customer Divide At MF Global [WSJ]