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Bernie Madoff Has A Few Things To Say

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All statements were communicated via his friends on the inside, for a recent New York article on how life's been going in the big house.

1. "Fuck my victims" (Berns is of the opinion they're a bunch of ingrates who he “...carried for twenty years, and now I’m doing 150 years.”)

2. The old bags he took for a ride had it coming (Pollard’s former cellmate John Bowler recalls a conversation between Pollard and Madoff: “Bernie was telling a story about an old lady. She was bugging him for her money, so he said to her, ‘Here’s your money,’ and gave her a check. When she saw the amount she says, ‘That’s unbelievable,’ and she says, ‘Take it back.’ And urged her friends [to invest].” Pollard thought that taking advantage of old ladies was “kind of fucked up.” “Well, that’s what I did,” Madoff said matter-of-factly.)

3. This is confidential to Mark and Andy: you may not want to speak to Daddy but guess what? You're among the minority that don't want a piece of his shit. He doesn't need you. He's got his people. (From the moment he alighted, he had “groupies,” according to several inmates. Prisoners trailed him as he took his exercise around the track. (Persico had also attracted a throng when he arrived, but was disgusted and quickly put an end to it.) “They buttered him up,” one former inmate told me. “Everybody was trying to kiss his ass,” says Shawn Evans, who spent 28 months in Butner. They even clamored for his autograph.)

4. Things were a little tricky to adjust to at first. (“He didn’t know how to take a shower,” says Bowler, now confined in a Lexington, Kentucky, facility. At Butner, you don’t get undressed until in the shower itself.)

5. But now things at camp are going really great! He's got a maid and gets to eat all his favorite foods. (At Butner, Madoff got busy lining up a new set of creature comforts, such as they were. He hired an inmate to do his laundry for $8 a month, Bowler says....Macaroni and cheese, one of Madoff’s favorite meals, costs 60 cents, and a can of Madoff’s preferred drink, Diet Coke, is a bargain at 45 cents.)

6. He misses Ruth, but you know, he's got shit to keep him occupied (books, movies, gambling, etc) and can you really compared the love of just one lady to that of scores of men, women (he gets letters from chicks hot for Ponzi schemes on the reg), and pre-op transexuals? Bernie's not sure you can. (Madoff seems to float above the prison’s hierarchies, as befits a celebrity. Early in his stay, Madoff sat on the boccie-ball court with Persico—they’re not as close now. He’s comfortable with black inmates, too, talking, mingling, occasionally even joking with some of them: “Why are you always picking on the white man?” Gay prisoners don’t offend Madoff, who is, after all, a sophisticated New Yorker. One evening on his way through the day room Madoff griped to the lifers gang, “All you guys talk about is ‘Queer this, queer that.’ Don’t you have anything better to talk about?” Madoff had been kind enough to advise Yolonda on how to raise money for her sex-change operation. )