As you may have heard, the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission is none too pleased with Goldman Sachs. First, the bank didn't turn over requested documents as quickly as Chairman Phil Angelides and his wingman, vice-Chair Bill Thomas asked for them. Then the slippery little devils dumped twenty million pages on the commission's asses. Somewhere in that pile of crap is probably the information the FCIC is looking for but Christ on a crutch it'll be Labor Day before they get through the damn thing! I mean really! Some of us wanted to wrap this up and have that den of sin shut down before the Fourth. You know, so they could enjoy the long weekend without it hanging over their heads. But you know what? No, it's cool. No one's gonna get angry here because Goldman Sachs actually did Angelides and Thomas a favor. Because this little stalling tactic can only mean one thing.
"They stretched us out thinking they played the game cleverly," FCIC Vice Chairman Bill Thomas said. "They may have more to cover up than we thought."
Hell yeah they do! No one was even gonna thumb through all that but now that we know there's even more damning dirt in there than previously imagined? Well William Gareth Jacob Busey Senior, Phil 'n Bill will carve out some time during lunch! Because yes, that is the sound of a monument being erected in B&P's likenesses, with whatever is Latin for "We nailed these fuckers, and not just for the financial ish but the J-walking, and the hair plugs, and the fact that Lucas van Praag's accent is a sham, too" at the bottom. It's all in there. These two are gonna be heroes.