Jeffery Gundlach Addresses The Issues

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Such as, how do you pronounce his last name? You might've assumed it was "Gund-lack" but it's actually "Goond-lack." Trying using it in a sentence. (If you want, take this one: "Good-lack, it's really uncool that you haven't returned my copy of Ass Traffic, Volume 9. Oh, what, now that you've got your own firm you don't have to play by the rules?") As for the other issues, Goond-lack completely avoids the question, which, if you want to talk about uncool, really tops. You'd think someone who previously claimed to in no way be ashamed but instead proud-- as he well should be-- of the library of porn in his office and the finest collection of dildos in the world wouldn't have a problem talking Dr. Fellatio but apparently you'd think wrong.

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Want To Earn $100,000 The Hard Way, You Dirty Little Bitch? Give Jeffrey Gundlach A Call

As you may have heard, at some point last week, bond manager Jeffrey Gundlach was robbed. Thieves took $10 million worth of stuff from the Doubleline founder's Santa Monica pad, including a couple of paintings, a few watches, some high-priced wine, a 2010 Porsche Carrera 4S, and whatever cash was lying around. While it's unclear if the burglars made away with Gundlach's collection of priceless pornographic films and sexual apparatus; if he was targeted specifically because the thieves knew they could get their hands on the original copy of Dr. Fellatio 16; or if they were tipped off by JG's regular pizza delivery guy, cable repairman, or pool boy, what is clear that Gundlach is pissed, pissed like a man who is no longer in possession of Ass Traffic Volume 2: The Director's Cut.  And that's where you come in. Mr Gundlach has reportedly offered a $100,000 reward for the return of his property. $1,000 is also being offered for information leading to the arrest and conviction of those who carried out the raid, according to Santa Monica police. And to the burglars, if you're reading this, Gundlach will see your asses in court (the real kind, unless you want to settle this in Bondage Nookie Court in which case, get in touch with this lawyer). Multimillionaire financier victim of $10-million heist [LA Times] Thieves snatch $10million haul of fine art, jewellery and a Porsche from home of wealthy banker dubbed the 'Bond God' [DM] Related (...?): Jeffrey Gundlach NOT Set Up By TCW, Big Fan Of “Dr. Fellatio” Series