Over the last few weeks/months, a decent number of people have gotten their faces ripped off, little known fund managers like John Paulson included. There've been a lot of pity-parties, a lot of "why me" and a lot of JO&C. While one could take the approach of telling you to stuff it and take it like a man, we realize in this case, a slightly more sensitive touch is required. So I'm just gonna say this: you're lucky all that's been ripped of is your figurative face and not, say, chunks of your actual leg.
A drunk man who climbed into a crocodile enclosure in Australia and attempted to ride a 5m (16ft) long crocodile has survived his encounter. The crocodile, called Fatso, bit the 36-year-old man's leg, tearing chunks of flesh from him as he straddled the reptile. He received surgery to serious wounds to his leg and is recovering in hospital, police say. He had been chucked out of a pub in the town of Broome for being too drunk. The man, who was not named by the police, climbed over a fence and tried to sit on the 800kg (1,800lb) saltwater crocodile.
"Fatso has taken offence to this and has spun around and bit this man on the right leg," Sgt Roger Haynes of Broome police told journalists.
Malcolm Douglas, the park's owner, said that the crocodile was capable of crushing a man to death with a single bite. "The man who climbed the fence was fortunate because Fatso was a bit more sluggish than normal, due to the cooler nights we have been experiencing in Broome," said Mr Douglas. "If it had been warmer and Fatso was more alert, we would have been dealing with a fatality."
The man staggered back to the pub bleeding heavily. Pub manager Mark Phillips said staff told him that the man reappeared at about 11pm with bits of bark hanging off him and flesh gouged out of his limbs.