Jeffrey Epstein Is A Free Man

Author:
Publish date:
Updated on

The massage enthusiast's year-long house arrest has come to an end today (it was preceded by jail time), The Daily Beast informs us with the no-frills headline "Billionaire Pedophile Goes Free." What will Epstein do with his freedom? Will he head to Dubai, as has been suggested? Will he make the trip out to Beamers, where there's a reasonable assurance the girls are over 14? Will he remain in Palm Beach, having come to appreciate the asses o' octogenarians? I don't know. I'll tell you what I do know, though. There's only one way to commemorate this occasion. And I think you know what I'm talking about.

Related

Kweku Adoboli Is A Free Man!

Kind of! Though he doesn't go to trial until September, the UBS's rogue trader was granted bail after ten months in jail and a February denial to go home. Naturally, he's pretty pleased about the turn of events (which allow for sleepovers). Mr. Adoboli, 32, has to stick to a curfew but can stay at a friend’s house wearing an electronic tag as part of the bail agreement. Tim Harris, Mr. Adoboli’s lawyer at Bark & Company, said his client was “delighted” and would like to thank family and friends for their support in achieving his release. Mr. Adoboli is expected to be released from London’s Wandsworth prison as early as Monday, Mr. Harris said. Mr. Adoboli had pleaded not guilty to counts of false accounting and fraud. He was arrested in September after UBS alerted the police. The bank claimed that Mr. Adoboli had masked the billion dollar losses from internal controls with fictitious trades. Mr. Adoboli has remained in custody ever since his arrest. The trading scandal rocked the Swiss bank and led to the resignation of its chief executive, Oswald J. Grübel. Denying Mr. Adoboli bail in February, the judge said that the allegations against the former trader were “serious” and “backed up with cogent evidence.” Former UBS Trader Is Granted Bail [Dealbook]