Are you old as fuck? I mean, for Wall Street, what with all the whippsnappers running wild, not for, like, the earth? Might we suggest an age-old technique for getting that spring back in your step that apparently fell out of fashion almost 100 years ago but is surely set to make a comeback, probably with even better results due to advances in medicine and technology?
Grafting ape testicles onto old men was the rage in 1920. Some 300 patients of the Russian doctor Serge Voronoff underwent this costly surgery, looking for “rejuvenation.”