For the most part, you can't swing a BD without knocking into someone who would rate Jamie Dimon on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being "love that guy" 10 being "I've built a shrine to his cock at my desk." Notice I said "FOR THE MOST PART." Last week a guy on Facebook suggested he'd rather not be counted among the Dimon worshipers and today, in the midst of an otherwise glowing article about JD, Mike Mayo throws some hate in the direction of the House of Dimon.

“They are not Wells Fargo when it comes to retail banking. They are not American Express when it comes to credit cards. They are not BlackRock when it comes to asset management,” said Michael Mayo of Credit Agricole Securities. “And JPMorgan is not Goldman Sachs in emerging markets.”

Well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man. Furthermore, you think a guy who's achieved the same level of fame as the woman who put the cone bra on the map is losing much sleep over what you think, boy?

The crisis cemented Mr. Dimon’s reputation as a financial superstar — a brazen dealmaker who buys when others are selling, a strict risk manager who resisted the type of exotic businesses that felled others, and a charismatic leader who charms congressmen and credit traders alike. He is now commonly referred to by a single name, like Pelé or Madonna.