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Scott Nicholson is a 24 year-old Colgate alum who's yet to have a job since graduating college in 2008. He's famous today not because he's unemployed-- lots of relatively recent grads are sans employment so he's not special in that respect-- but because he's the main character in a delightful Times story about his journey to find a job that fits the mold of his dreams. The "unemployed" status, you see, is a tool of Scott's own making. He could've had a job-- five months ago, the Hanover Insurance Group offered him one as an associate claims adjuster in their Worcester, at $40,000 a year-- but he decided to turn it down.

Rather than waste early years in dead-end work, he reasoned, he would hold out for a corporate position that would draw on his college training and put him, as he sees it, on the bottom rungs of a career ladder.

A lofty goal but as he is living at home with his parents in Grafton, Massachusetts, rent and expenses free, Scott figured he had all the time in the world to make it happen. That was until a certain couplea jerks decided to start fucking with his master plan.

“My parents are subtly pointing out that beyond room and board, they are also paying other expenses for me, like my cellphone charges and the premiums on a life insurance policy.”

Do you believe these asshats? Subtly pointing out that they've been paying for his universe two years past the time they should have to and that *maybe* in the future (near or distant, whatever), that may have to end? It's crazy but since our time-frame re: Getting Scott The Job He Deserves has been moved up, we don't have time to blame his parents (later, of course), we just need act fast. Scott told the Times he'd like a gig in marketing or finance at "big corporation" and according to his grandfather, William Nicholson, who worked for 48 years as a stock broker, “Scott has got to find somebody who knows someone,” the grandfather said, “someone who can get him to the head of the line.”

Naturally, those someones are you people. Any MD positions open at GS? Steve, have you fired any traders lately? Scott probably will want his own pad but he's willing to take something (very) slightly beneath what he's due, as we're workin under some serious time constraints.

American Dream Is Elusive For New Generation [NYT via DI]