Here's a little hope for anyone needing it on a particularly slow Monday while you possibly fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble hell: you could be a family abandoning, child-support dodging, drug-dealing resident of an insane asylum named Joe Meyers who spends his days asking his roommate, "WHO YOU CALLIN' PSYCHO?" and/or unappreciated cog in the wheel and one day get the people of New York to think you're a Prince/CEO of an unnamed bank. How? I'm glad you asked. It's all about acting as-if. Prince Josef ne Joe, whose run ended earlier this summer when the FBI arrested him and threw him in a Michigan jail cell, went about it like this:

* Clothes: "He would walk around SoHo in banker-style suits. It was always very preppy with expensive, intellectual-looking spectacles," said a source close to the family. "He dressed up all of the time, even the hottest days. His shirts were all very special. Everything he had was custom-made," said David Sun, who owns Soho Dry Cleaning, where the family took their washing.

* Attitude: Claimed to own a bank and "once boasted that losing $100,000 a day meant nothing to him," like a pro would.

* Accoutrement: "The alleged con man's new digs behind bars are a far cry from his extravagantly appointed loft on Broome Street where Meyers and his second wife, half-French, half-Vietnamese beauty Michel Trico...He would walk around SoHo in banker-style suits. It was always very preppy with expensive, intellectual-looking spectacles," said a source close to the family. "Sometimes he would even wear a cordless hair dryer on his belt like it was a gun," the source said.