How Much Is CNBC Willing To Pay For A Domain Name?

Author:
Updated:
Original:

On the one hand, cnbcglobalheadquarters.com is a bit clunky. On the other, the network's anchors announce at least once a segment that they're "broadcasting live from CNBC global headquarters," so maybe it's worth something to them, branding-wise. The real question is, are they willing to negotiate with the convicted criminal currently holding the url hostage, who goes by the name #1 Stunna and is willing to sell it for no less than $100 million? Apparently Stunna has reached out to CNBC already but so far, there's been no interest,** though he knows they'll eventually come around if they know what's good for them ("Stunna states that the lawyers that work for CNBC 'must be clowns' to not see the value in that as a domain name").

**Or they may simply be intimidated by the pictures of Stunna wearing a Raiders hat sitting a crotch rocket.

Related

This Is Warren Buffett Telling A CNBC Anchor How Difficult It's Been To Bang The Guy's Wife

As some of you may have noticed over the years, Warren Buffett has carved out a pretty unique niche for himself in using analogies about whorehouses, porn shops, one-night stands, taking Viagra, fondling inanimate objects (or simply laying the ground work to do so) when discussing business. Regardless of the topic, no matter the setting, he's prepared to go out of his way marry aberrant sex fetish with folksy business wisdom. So naturally, when asked by Andrew Ross Sorkin on Squawk Box this morning if a $22 billion acquisition by Berkshire Hathway that didn't pan out earlier this year might happen at some point in the future, Buffett told the gang "It's always possible. When a girl hangs up on me, I try again," rather than "Sure," or "Yeah, anything can happen," or "Never say never, Andy." At this point, the anchors could have moved on but Joe Kernen saw an opening for a little repartee and went for it, not realizing that he was dealing with a professional. [8:45

How Your CNBC Sausage Gets Made (Update)

Step 1: Come up with story idea, say, about how small businesses are being hurt due to the NBA lockout Step 2: Reach out to Twitter followers, ask them to corroborate said story Step 3: Wait. Step 4: Practice asking Kate Upton to be your Valentine. ["Will you, Kaaa" voice cracks. "Will you, Kate Upton.." No, that's stupid. "Kate I would be most honored if you.."] Step 5: Daydream about how you and "Katie" will tell your families you eloped. Step 6: Marvel at your good fortune when a guy, who in real life is a bored teenager but over the internet seems like a legit businessman, emails you to say that he runs an escort service in New York, "mostly for away team players after games but some Knicks and Nets too; they are high rollers and I'm not getting the constant business I that I need to stay running." Step 7: Double fist pump the air and shout "Yes, D-Rove, you got this!" Step 8: Breathe, tell yourself to calm down and reel it in. Step 9: Put on your reporter hat and ask "Henry James" some questions like, "How much money would say you're losing? What cut do you then get? What is the cheapest woman and what is the most expensive woman? I assume it's by the hour and what is the typical # of hours?" Step 10: Make no attempt to verify source is who he says he is, that his business exists, that you're not being taken for a ride. Step 11: Cut, print. How A Teenager With A Fake Escort Service Duped Darren Rovell And CNBC [Deadspin] Related: SI Swimsuit Model Doesn’t Have To Worry About Things Getting Weird With CNBC Reporter Because He’s Known Her Since She Was 17

CNBC Is Nobody's Sloppy Seconds!

*DJ CNBC Tells Wall Street Execs To Go Back To Their Ready Made Whores At FBN, Bloomberg TV *DJ CNBC 'If You Go On Bloomberg We'll Fucking Cut You' *DJ CNBC 'Brian Moynihan Knows What He Did' *DJ CNBC 'Will Tell Everyone That Walks In This Building That in 2R, Cohn, You're Nothing But A Whore' *DJ CNBC Suggests It Won't Hesitate To Throw A Drink In The Face Of Anyone Seen Running Around Town With Another Network *DJ No, CNBC Doesn't Think It's Overreacting *DJ CNBC Will Show You Crazy