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Steven Slater: Someone Hire The Guy

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As you're extremely aware, the alternative asset management biz is known for attracting both the brightest minds and also those with the quirkiest of personalities. The most successful individuals have both these traits. Generally, we hear about these people's formidable market savvy first and it's not until after they've made their firm billions that the demonstrations of quirk come out. But why not do it in reverse order? What I'm saying is, based on his performance today, it seems obvious that Steven Slater probably has some serious investing prowess up his sleeve, and now that he's looking for a new industry with which to get involved, someone ought snap him up fast.

A crazed JetBlue flight attendant who lost his cool after a flight from Pittsburgh landed at JFK Airport today hurled obscenities at passengers over the airliner’s public address system and then deployed the emergency chute to make a dramatic escape.

Steven Slater, the attendant-turned-wingnut, dashed from the tarmac to his silver Jeep Wrangler parked in an employee lot and raced home to Belle Harbor, where he was arrested by Port Authority cops.

The meltdown was preceded by an argument with a passenger, who sources said told Slater "to f--- off" after being told by Slater not to remove baggage from the overhead compartment. The passenger insisted on opening the overhead compartment, hitting Slater in the head with the door as it dropped down. After the plane landed and pulled up to Gate 3 at the JetBlue terminal, and as passengers began moving to the door, sources said Slater got on the public address system and launched into a tirade.

"To the f----ing ass---- that told me to f--- off, it’s been a good 28 years!" Slater bellowed, according to law enforcement sources.

But that wasn’t the end of it. In a move fitting for an action flick, Slater grabs a can of beer from the airline galley then pops the lever for the airliner’s inflatable chute and slides down to the tarmac outside the terminal door.

Friends of Slater’s in his beachfront Belle Harbor neighborhood were shocked to hear about the incident. "I can’t believe Steve’s on the run," said Bruce Babasso, 65. "He’s like OJ Simpson. He must have snapped. He must have had the JetBlue blues," quipped Babasso.