As you know, it's never too early to start thinking about bonus season and what sort of goodies you're going to pick up. To that end, today brings some bad news. For those of you who were considering treating yourself to a new ride and driver, Bentley has announced their cars will no longer come with the one reason you'd want to buy them-- a deadly "winged B" hood ornament that doesn't retract and could potentially kill a person should there be an unfortunate collision with an underperforming trader in the parking lot, or something. [AP via Gawker]
Who Wants To Help This Goal-Oriented List-Maker Cross A Few Items Off His Or Her To Do List?
"Go out w/ Wall Street guys" is an obvious one but there are a few others of which you could perhaps be of service.
Head Of Marketing For "High Profile Investment Company" Crosses "Attempt To Headbutt Airline Pilot Mid-Flight" Off Bucket List
Prior to December 19, 2012, Damian Kington had "never in his life tried to headbutt someone." Then he boarded a flight out of JFK bound for London, washed a Xanax and a few Ambiens down with "four or five small bottles of wine," and this happened.
The "Workout Taking Over Wall Street" Involves Treating Your Place Of Work Like Your Own Personal "Curves"
Random poll: is the guy or girl who sits next do you at work a) forgoing a chair and instead squatting in front of his/her computer b) doing lunges and push-ups behind you or c) breathing alarmingly heavily and sweating profusely post-deskside workout in which he or she shouted things like "Market's going up! Heart rate's going up!"? If you answered no to all of the above, your office is apparently miles behind the curve. According to a segment aired on Bloomberg TV earlier this morning, everyone on Wall Street is working out on the job. And not, say, in the office gym but on the floor, in the middle of the trading day, between rows, grunting and panting like no one is watching. Supposedly this twenty minute workout has a name (JCore) and if you're worried about the effectiveness, don't be: the guy who pioneered this thing practically has a heart attack during the demo so it must be working. To the skeptical bastards who would suggest no one besides the people featured in the story are actually doing this, you're not alone: back in the studio a fellow anchor nearly blows everything by questioning if there are actually people who would get drenched in the middle of the day while yelling things like "You're shooting me, you're shooting your fat" in view of colleagues but nevermind you that. The Workout Taking Over Wall Street [Bloomberg TV via BI]