Goldman Sachs Will Tell You Where You Can And Cannot Stick That

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So! You're an employee of Goldman Sachs and you want to date, mate or just rub up against one of your colleagues. In the wake of last week's lawsuit by three woman against the bank, one of whom cited an incident several years back wherein a co-worker gave her an unsolicited groping after a company outing to Scores, there may be some confusion re: what's consider cool and not cool by management. The great news is that no one at GS is looking to outright playa-hate. According to Heidi Moore, all the higher-ups ask is that you loop them in at the first stirring in your pants so they can evaluate on a case by case basis.

It’s a God that requires frequent confessionals, as one senior banker there explains: “There is a culture at Goldman which is very strong and clear, which is: it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you own up to them right away.” The firm’s dating protocols—by all accounts little-known—don’t ban dating within the firm but instead require employees to disclose their relationships to their direct manager, who can contact what one alum wryly calls “ the inappropriate-behavior SWAT team.”

For instance, the Managing Director who initiated a make-out session with a female underling in view of a bunch of colleagues last year? Nobody felt the need to tell ole LB about it and while neither party got the boot, the MD had his bonus cut by 25% for "bad judgment."

If Lloyd had been read into the situation, all he probably would've done was congratulated the tongue slipper on a grade A piece of meat, unless he thought the kissing was going to set off a situation in which a crazy significant other is showing up at GS wanting to bust some skulls and Gary Cohn's barricading the doors while Lloyd talks him down from the ledge.

Goldman’s favorite option, however, is just to separate people and ship them off to other divisions. In another case, a married partner had a consensual affair with a younger female banker who had a long-term boyfriend. It was consensual, that is, to all but her boyfriend and his wife, who eventually compared notes and created a ruckus. The partner was finally shipped off to another continent.

In most cases though, Lloyd et al are all for seeing love bloom. Who doesn't love a good wedding? Come on.

A prominent former Goldman Banker, got married twice to fellow Goldmanites. She dated her first Goldman husband for three years as they sat right across from each other. Later, after they were divorced, she decided to take a break from the firm; when she came back to work for Peter Matthias on consulting for Stephen Friedman and Bob Rubin, she met her current husband. Each time, she says, Goldman higher-ups were supportive of the relationships.

The Dating Rules At Goldman [TDB]

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A week ago today, a man named Greg Smith resigned from Goldman Sachs. As a sort of exit interview, Smith explained his reasons for departing the firm in a New York Times Op-Ed entitled "Why I Am Leaving Goldman Sachs." The equity derivatives VP wrote that Goldman had "veered so far from the place I joined right out of college that I can no longer in good conscience say I identify with what it stands for." Smith went on to note that whereas the Goldman of today is "just about making money," the Goldman he knew as a young pup "revolved around teamwork, integrity, a spirit of humility, and always doing right by our clients." It was a culture that made him "love working for the firm" and its absence had stripped him of "pride and belief" he once held in the place. While claiming that Goldman Sachs has become virtually unrecognizable from the institution founded by Marcus (Goldman) and Samuel (Sachs), which put clients ahead of its own interests, is hardly a new argument, there was something about Smith's words that gave readers a moment's pause. He was so deeply distraught over the differences between the Goldman of 2012 and the Goldman of 2000 (when he was hired) that suggested...more. That he'd seen things. Things that had made an imprint on his soul. Things that he couldn't forget. Things that he held up in his heart for how Goldman should be and things that made it all the more difficult to ignore when it failed to live up to that ideal. Things like this: