Gang. Yesterday afternoon I had to cut out early to see a friend up in Wall Street North. Fine. Except that it resulted in me missing the release of THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD. Naturally, I speak of the latest Lisa Marie Falcone profile. But it's okay. Like LMF, this thing exists on another plane, in another realm, where time is meaningless. So let's get to it. First, the accompanying photograph, seen above. Just...take a few minutes with that.
Now, LISA. Did you ever dream there would be more this woman had to share with us, when she's already shared so much, such as the piano playing pet pig, the bar-in-closets and the outfits? Probably not but Lisa is a gift, clearly heaven sent, that does not stop giving, much like her possessions which she tells BusinessWeek are "...all borrowed stuff. God kind of loans it to us, and somebody takes it afterward."
In a sense, Lisa is kind of on loan to us from God too. Some people get to spend more time with her than others, like her husband Phil, of course, but also the employees of his hedge fund.
[Mrs.] Falcone is sitting at the head of a conference table, rapping to music by Swizz Beatz and waving her tanned arms above her head. Harbinger analysts walking by barely look up at Lisa, 41, who is striking in a low-cut leather dress and a huge diamond cross pendant. They know she's the boss's wife. Harbinger's young, blond British receptionist brings a tray with a mug of green tea for Lisa, who likes to point out that the space is as much hers as her husband's. "This is our office," she says. "Eighteen years and no prenup means family office." She's meeting with the two employees of her fledgling company, Everest Entertainment. Just outside the room, her husband, Philip Falcone, is running his $9 billion fund but that doesn't hold her back. She produced the song and sings along as it blasts from iPod speakers on the table: "Come on bitches, get your hands in the air, ugly bitches too, we don't care!"
So, magnificent, clearly, but would you know there are people who want to change this woman? Their list of complaints include everything from how she dresses ("IwearwhatIwanttowear," she says), to how she speaks ("I'm proud of my background," she says of a slight Puerto Rican accent. "I'm not changing, and I'm not getting a speech coach."), to where her money comes from ("Obviously, my husband's made the money, but we've been together 18 years, and the person behind the person isn't usually seen," she says. "So the money I'm using I've earned.") to her general joie de vivre. These are the people that would probably have a problem with something like this.
Before they started the renovation of the Guccione mansion, expected to cost $10 million, the Falcones hosted an elaborate third birthday party there for their twin daughters, Carolina and Liliana. Lisa had muralists paint the walls with The Wizard of Oz scenes and sent out hand-calligraphed invitations, according to two guests. Little people wore uniforms monogrammed with her daughters' initials in green rhinestones.
Well those haters can suck on this [raises what are probably a set of diamond encrusted brass knuckles you know LMF owns]. "I do what I want," she tells BusinessWeek but also the citizens of the world. And later: "I have a very good ear. But God gave me something that I'm better at than anyone else. And that's being me."