Money. Sex. Power. Betrayal. The Name Of Eliot Spitzer's Penis. YOU DON'T KNOW THE REAL STORY.

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Here are a list of things we know about the "rise and fall of Eliot Spitzer":

* Attorney General

* Went after a lot of people on Wall Street

* Governor

* Fucked a prostitute named Ashley for $2,000 an hour

* Used the name of a campaign contributor when paying-to-lay

* Used the Mayflower Hotel in DC for many a romp

* Known in the hooker community for wearing black socks during sex

* Big fan o' the raw dog

* Has made an enemy out of former madame-cum-gubernatorial candidate Kristin Davis

Seems pretty comprehensive but apparently....

Oh! We don't know the REAL story? What in god's name could the REAL story entail? Is it a next level of bad? Are we talking...furry friends? Also, is this how we're going to find out the SteamRoller has a name for his penis-- which you know he does, and it's shocking none of the girls have dished on this topic yet-- like, I don't know, the Dungeon Master? Or KRONG, all caps, a name that exudes power? Or, wait for it, The DumpTruck? Do weigh in.

Vulture Premieres the Poster for Alex Gibney’s Eliot Spitzer Doc, Client 9 [Vulture]

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Eliot Spitzer's Liason To The Hooker World Announces Plan To Run For Mayor Of New York

Earlier this month, the Times reported that Mayor Bloomberg and his advisers had been "floating the possibility of mayoral runs to at least five boldface figures," including Chuck Schumer, Mort Zuckerman, Ed Rendell, Edward Skyler, and Hillary Clinton. Strangely left off the list? A woman who some might say is actually Hizzoner's most worthy successor and who conveniently announced her intent to run today: Kristin Davis, the woman who once supplied Eliot Spitzer with hot young tail.