Money. Sex. Power. Betrayal. The Name Of Eliot Spitzer's Penis. YOU DON'T KNOW THE REAL STORY.

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Here are a list of things we know about the "rise and fall of Eliot Spitzer":

* Attorney General

* Went after a lot of people on Wall Street

* Governor

* Fucked a prostitute named Ashley for $2,000 an hour

* Used the name of a campaign contributor when paying-to-lay

* Used the Mayflower Hotel in DC for many a romp

* Known in the hooker community for wearing black socks during sex

* Big fan o' the raw dog

* Has made an enemy out of former madame-cum-gubernatorial candidate Kristin Davis

Seems pretty comprehensive but apparently....

Oh! We don't know the REAL story? What in god's name could the REAL story entail? Is it a next level of bad? Are we talking...furry friends? Also, is this how we're going to find out the SteamRoller has a name for his penis-- which you know he does, and it's shocking none of the girls have dished on this topic yet-- like, I don't know, the Dungeon Master? Or KRONG, all caps, a name that exudes power? Or, wait for it, The DumpTruck? Do weigh in.

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