Tax Cuts Broken Down In Terms Top Earners Can Understand

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Have you not been getting your panties in a bunch over the potential expiration of the Bush tax cuts? Have you not been working yourself into a lather over how your life will be ruined-- RUINED!!!-- if what people are saying might go down does in fact go down? Maybe that's just because you haven't stopped to think about what you're going to be losing. Bloombergwants you to take this seriously so today they've brought out the big guns. Brace yourself, because this is going to hurt:

Wealthy Americans have the price of a BMW convertible riding on the outcome of the Congressional battle over tax cuts set to expire this year. A married New Yorker earning about $1 million in income, with an additional $50,000 in capital gains and $5,000 in dividends may pay about an extra $45,300 in federal income taxes, $2,500 in capital gains and $1,230 on dividends if Congress doesn’t extend the 2001 and 2003 tax reductions scheduled to end Dec. 31, says Alan Dlugash, a partner at Marks Paneth & Shron LLP, a New York-based accounting firm. That’s about a $50,000 hit, he said.

Holy god no! Not the moderately priced BMW! Is this real to you now? Are you getting it? Because that is NOT ALL. We started with the BMW just to ease you into the horror. Here's what else is riding on these cuts:

* 2,500 shake-weights

* 25,000 Hundred Grand Bars

* 5,000 HJ's courtesy of Dick Fuld, who's been seen giving them out at $10 a pop in the 3rd floor men's room of Barclays (that's seriously a lot fewer HJ's, which would positively ruin your year)

* A shitload of Crocs

* 3,333 of these (maybe NSFW)

* 400 of these and I know for FACT at least 3 guys who were going to buy that many and wallpaper their offices

* TWO FEWER OF THESE, which you KNOW is going to chap some serious hide.

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