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Update: Soon-To-Be Banker Terrified Of Not Having Time To Score Chicks Breaks Out Thesaurus To Clarify A Few Things

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Yesterday, a soon to be first year analyst wrote in with a request. Quivering with fear at the thought of being chained to his desk for the next several years with zero time to tap ass, he wondered if some seasoned veterans would offer some advice with regard to juggling work and reeling tail. Today, he would like to elaborate a bit about himself and his situation.

Thank you for putting up that post. I was wondering if there was any chance you could bump it and do an update in order to provide more clarity in what I was asking (as well as my motivation behind seeking advice)?

First off, it should be noted that I personally drill 8 and ups, dames find me gregarious, erudite and witty. I am not intimidated in the sense that I'm shaking in my Band of Outsiders Sperrys at the big, loud, and potty stench filled City; I'm intimidated at the REALITY of the lack of women I'll be around, let alone the type of young ladies I'm used to having snuggle seshes with. As I previously stated, I have one friend on the Street who has a very attractive "slam piece" from undergrad, whom he recently proposed to. Since he's a jerk-off who never takes works off (/Kanye), I think he felt the need to over spend on the ring (north of $20k), in order to keep her around.

Other friends in other male dominated industries often complain about the lack of "talent" in their respective fields, or they turn delusional about the quality they're surround with. An example would be a good friend who works on the exchange in Chicago, who harps on about this "certified 9" that he works with. He tries to set her up with me, so I can knock her down, and he can live through me when I tell him the story. I meet this girl for drinks, and while she wasn't visual acid, she definitely wasn't up to par with my standards. I still poked, more of a service to him than for pleasure on my part -- but it illustrates just how miserable I would be if I started to find girls like that actually attractive.

These friends are around so few women, or just plain average looking girls for so long that it muddies their historic standards -- it's sad, and I truly fear that happening to me.

If that makes me weak, or scared, or what have you fine, crucify me. From the responses thus far are am I really reduced to line-blowing models that want to max out my Chase debit card at Barneys, and random hook-ups at Murray Hill bars? Again, depressing. Maybe I should send my resume to Omnicom/BBDO...


Area Big Time Banker Can't Get Laid In A Whorehouse, Wants People To Know About It

What would posses a person to do an as-told-to article about the fact that after "failing miserably" at trying to pick up women in bars while working late for a "big name investment bank in New York," he turned to a "sugar daddy dating site" to bang hookers on his nights away from the wife and kids only to fall for one who ultimately broke his heart, because she was a prostitute and didn't actually care about him? The answer, quite, obviously, is love. Love, and a hope that a certain someone will see your story and upon reading that you're completely and totally over her and beating off call girls with a stick, COME RUNNING BACK. I met a girl who said she was a senior at Columbia University. She was so hot. Long brown hair, light eyes, perfect little body. We started an affair and I would give her a $4,000 "allowance" each month to meet once a week for dinner, or just to sleep together if I had a deal or a really late night in the office. Sometimes it was an hour of "small talk and sex," which, really, isn't a bad deal for her. $1,000 for an hour to spend time with me. I felt like a stud, there's no denying that, and I knew that she didn't want anything from me but money. She would come and go away when I made the signal I was tired. Soon though, I started liking her more than I wanted to. She was smart and kind of had a sarcastic sense of humor I found funny. I asked to see her more and she asked for more money. I said I couldn't do any more than that, and she said she couldn't give more time. It was the first time I felt a little hurt, like: "This person just wants my money and probably thinks I'm some gross horny old dude." The next month, I gave her the envelope of $4,000 upfront instead of $1,000 each time. We had sex, chatted, drank some wine and she left. I never saw her again. She wouldn't pick up her phone, then her phone was disconnected, my emails to her went unanswered, and her profile on the site was gone. It was such a blow. Though, really, what the hell did I expect? I guess some warning. Yes, some warning would have been nice but whatever. It's not like you're still upset about it. It's not like there isn't a moment of the day when she's not on your mind. It's not like you lie in bed at night thinking about her holding you. No, no sweat off your sack, which you use to bang hookers six at a time now that whatshername is out of the picture. Working girls line the street to get paid to have sex with you! You don't even have time to respond to all their propositions! The Jiltee has become the jilter! You can't even remember [theloveofyourlife]'s name you're so busy plowing prosties. After that, I decided I was going to go for quantity and not quality. I want hot girls, but a lot of them and substance isn't a huge deal. I have been with dozens of girls, and I give them money each time I meet them. The funny thing is often these girls are chasing me to sleep with them again, because it's easy money, but I just scroll through and delete or ignore the messages most of the time. Men want to be with a lot of women; it is just the truth...Maybe that first girl was a wake-up call. I'm already married. I don't need a steady mistress. But I have one or two I always go back to if I can't find someone I like, which happens a lot....I'm not hurting anyone by doing this. I'm always safe and upfront if I meet someone and know it won't happen. I just pay for the drink and let them know and leave, like "No deal, sorry." It is just like any deal. You have to know how to close it and have to know when you're not interested in putting in the effort to see it through. Why This Married Wall Street Banker Pays For Sex [Buzzfeed]