Ex-Hedge Fund Manager Paul Greenwood At A Crossroads

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Last week we discussed the terrible news visited on former hedge fund manager Paul Greenwood's house: that he was being forced to sell his beloved teddy bear collection. To recap, Greenwood owned 1,348 bears, one of which was valued at $80,000, with the total lot being worth an estimated $3 million. And unlike some alternative asset managers we can think of, ashamed for people to know about their decorative dolls, Greenwood kept his babies showcased in “collector display cabinetry” at the top of a dramatic spiral staircase in his home and kept track of via a spreadsheet that noted specifics like “full-dressed in sailor suit, lavender-tipped mohair coat [and] felt spats.”

Unfortunately, in order to legal fees associated with the Ponzi scheme Greenwood pleaded guilty to several months back, he was forced to put his softies up for auction, which took place at Christie's last night. Thirteen hundred of the grown man's closet friends sold for 1.1 million pounds ($1.75 million) and now, he's pretty much thinking he's got nothing left to live for. He probably doesn't even care that he's likely going to go to prison for at least several years because without his babies, there's nothing left for him in this cruel world, right?

Wrong, and not on our watch.

There are two ways to respond to such setbacks in life:

1. Quit like a bitch.

2. Strap on a pair and get back that which will make you whole again.

The above options require that Paul ask himself how he wants to be remembered. Does he want to be remembered as a pussy? Or does he want to be remembered as a man (who keeps an excel spread sheet of his plushies)? I know he's telling friends his million-dollar bears don't matter and that he'll "just order up some POS Vermont teddies," but that's just the depression talking. Deep down inside, Greenwood knows he wants/needs the latter, which is why we say-- let this be your motivation inside the joint. Keep your head up and know that with a little hard work, once you get out and start up another scam to defraud investors, they'll come back to you.

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Hedge Fund Manager Wants 35 Percent Of Ex-Wife's Shoe Collection For Reasons Not Entirely Clear

Daniel Shak is the founder of SHK Management, a hedge fund that reportedly "pulled the plug on its sole investment, spread trades on Comex gold futures," last year. Daniel Shak is also the ex-husband of Beth Shak, who he divorced three years ago and is now suing for allegedly hiding assets in an attempt to cheat him out of settlement money. The assets in question? Twelve hundred pairs of designer shoes, which Shak claims his former wife "hid" from him in a "secret room." The way DS sees it, the footwear collection, which includes "Christian Louboutins and other high-end designer shoes" is worth approximately $1 million and he wants at least 35 percent. The way Beth Shak sees it, this is crazy (“I’m shaking my head over this whole thing,” she told reporters. “He is saying he didn’t know the closet in our master bedroom existed") and she doesn't understand why her ex is going after her shoes now. At this time there appear to be a few possible explanations: a) Daniel is raising money to re-launch his fund (he told the Journal, after liquidating SHK in January 2011, that he'd be "trading again in a few weeks," though it's unclear if that happened). b) He's got gambling debts to repay ("A poker lover himself, he was reached at a card table yesterday but declined to comment"). c) He and John Mack are going to sell them out of the back of a truck. d) He just really appreciates women's shoes. e) Other Hedgie sues poker pro ex-wife over her 1,200-pair designer shoe collection [NYP] Related (...?): Hedge Fund SHK Liquidates, Rattles Gold Market