Ex-Hedge Fund Manager Forced To Sell Beloved Teddy Bear Collection

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Paul Greenwood is a hedge fund manager who is probably going to go to jail for defrauding clients in a Ponzi scheme, which he pleaded guilty to a few weeks back. For that he does not deserve your sympathy or pity. What he did was wrong. But he's also a man who today is having the one thing he cared about most in this world taken away from him. The only thing he cared about. The thing he loved most. Naturally, I refer to his prized Teddy Bear collection.

Greenwood owned 1,348 teddy bears, one of which was valued at $80,000, with the total lot being worth an estimated $3 million. And unlike some alternative asset managers we can think of, ashamed for people to know about their decorative dolls, Greenwood kept his babies showcased in “collector display cabinetry” at the top of a dramatic spiral staircase in his home and kept track of via a spreadsheet that noted specifics like “full-dressed in sailor suit, lavender-tipped mohair coat [and] felt spats."

And now, he's being forced to auction off the majority of the bears at Christie’s next week, probably to pay for legal fees. Bloombergnotes 1,300 are up for grabs, meaning Greenwood is presumably holding on to the ones he keeps in bed with him, but this still hurts, tremendously. And don't even think about suggesting he order up a bunch of Vermont bears to make himself feel better. Those things are pieces of shit to him.


Area Hedge Fund Manager: Leave Harry Alone!

As you may have heard, earlier this week the lovable scamp that is Prince Harry of Wales got in a bit of hot water when he was photographed ass naked in Las Vegas, with a bunch of equally ass naked ladies, following some sort of swim meet with Olympic gold medalist Ryan Lochte. Those photographs, some of which involved a billiards table and pool cues, were subsequently run on the covers of various newspapers and the Queen, being none too pleased, told her grandson to get on the first flight back to London (apparently in a tone so scary he knew she meant business and "did not mingle with other passengers," instead remaining "in the upstairs cabin of the 747" to think about what he'd done). While it's unclear what kind of punishment the Queen has in mind, or if she's yet delivered the sort of tongue lashing generally reserved for naughty Corgis and her subjects at RBS, in the meantime many have come to the prince's defense and advised the old lady to back off, like the hedge fund manager the Times found on the tube who thinks the Queen should relax and have a good laugh about it. She'd be doing the same thing if Prince Philip ever gave her a weekend off. Among people surveyed at random in central London, including subway commuters reading about the Las Vegas incident on the front page of the tabloid the Evening Standard, the verdict was mostly thumbs-up. “I think it’s quite funny,” said John Daniels, 46, a hedge fund manager. “I’m sure most people would like to be doing exactly the same thing, especially in Vegas. This is his own private time and people shouldn’t be taking photographs of him.” For Prince Harry, Vegas Exploits Didn't Stay There [NYT]