How To Make The Ultimate CNBC Segment

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The following elements should be involved (Source: CNBC employee handbook, handed out to all on-air talent on their first day on the job):

* 1 guy in a kilt

* An intense moustache

* A bottle of booze (here's where you can get creative: could be a $150,000 bottle of whiskey or your favorite flavor of Boone's Farm, doesn't matter)

* Questions like, "what have you got in that bushy pouch?"

* A CNBC anchor who goes by the motto "I'm here for the party"

* Lively dialogue such as:

Guest: What I want you to do is put it in your mouth and hold it.

MCC: Put it in my mouth? You shouldn't say that to me [the suggestion being, you *should* say that to me]

Guest: Keep it in there keep it in there keep it in there

MCC: [Laughing]

Guest: Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it

* Supremely awkward reaction shots of co-anchors

* Confetti!

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