Is Goldman Sachs Suffering From Low Self-Esteem?

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Just asking as a friend and someone who's worried. Goldman Sachs has everything going for them-- looks, money, huge dicks, a restraining order against a Rolling Stone reporter-- but it seems as though there's a serious crisis of confidence going on, based on a little survey sent out by the bank, requesting "feedback" from "a select group of our stakeholders." At first it appears pretty standard-- questions about how well clients are serviced compared to other banks, etc. But then things take a turn. The Masters of the Universe want to know what you tell your friends and co-workers about them asking, for instance, would you "go out of your way to recommend us" to a co-worker looking for a gig or would you "never recommend us"? Whereas you'd think Goldman would and should assume everyone loves them, those surveyed are asked not just whether or not they "admire" the firm but if they "respect" as well (when you have this little self-confidence you need to drill down on the difference), or alternatively, if they have zero respect/admiration. Did you read the annual report? Or can you "not remember" if you had a chance to look it over, since it was so unremarkable GS wouldn't blame you if you could not recall?

* How likely are you to recommend the following firms to a colleague who is hiring/looking to do business with a financial services firm? Would you go out of your way to recommend GS or would you would you sooner recommend John Thomas Financial?

* How likely are you to recommend the following firms to a colleague who is considering going to work for a financial services firm? Would you talk up GS or would you tell them "not with Vikram's dick"?

* How would you compare your respect for each of the following firms? Do you have any for GS? Would you call it in the morning?

* How would you compare your admiration for the following firms, if you have any admiration for them at all?

* Did you read the annual? Or did you figure it'd be like sleeping with a MotU, e.g. 3 seconds of sex followed by 45 minutes of crying (by both parties), and not bother?

If you see a Goldman employee today, I want you to do me a favor and take a minute to give them a hug. They clearly need it.

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In the ping pong game of life, even your most trusted blade can't swat away an opponent with super-sized balls.---Unknown On Monday morning, Grand Central Publishing will release Why I Left Goldman Sachs: A Wall Street Story, a memoir penned by former Goldman employee Greg Smith, based on his op-ed for the New York Times entitled, "Why I Am Leaving Goldman Sachs." When Smith's piece came out last March, few if any senior executives inside the bank were pleased, in part because it came as a total shock. No one at Goldman had known Smith was planning to have his resignation letter printed in the paper. No one had known he had issues with the firm's supposedly new and singular focus on making money at all costs. No one, at least at the top, even knew who Greg was. Obviously all this left the bank at a competitive disadvantage in terms of fighting back and for the time being, Smith appeared to be handing Goldman its ass. Getting cocky, even. 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