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Lenny Dysktra "Plotting His Financial Comeback," Has A New Theme Song

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The last couple years have not been going, as they say, so good for Lenny Dykstra. He got thrown out of his house (but not before ripping out the bathroom fixtures and pissing on the wall), he filed for bankruptcy (representing himself in court, natch), and his former friend, Jim Cramer, who nominated the guy for chairman of the Federal Reserve turned, his back when times got tough. We never stopped hoping that things would get better for Nails, though. And it apparently, they have. Way better.

After living "like Gandhi, out of a bag," Dykstra has somehow managed to land himself a 12th-story penthouse in Westwood. It's there that he "plots a financial comeback," the specifics of which of yet to be banged out but may include hawking old photos on Craigslist and working as a phone sex operator. He's also said to have "several" projects planned, including bringing back the Players Club magazine, spends a lot of time "chugging Red Bull," and has a personal assistant named Destiny. The best news, though, is that Nails has got his spirit back.

"I have been fighting my whole life," Dykstra said. "That's why I have a new theme song, dude, and I am going to play it for you."

"I want to be a billionaire, so … bad, buy all of the things I never had," he sang along, loudly and off-key, to the Travie McCoy song "Billionaire," as it blared from his Bose computer speakers. "I want to be on the cover of Forbes magazine, smiling next to Oprah and the queen."

Lenny Dykstra Envisions A Comeback [LATimes]