Study: Credit Credit Crisis Was Caused By Bankers Who Got Off On "Painful But Exhilarating Losses"


Were you one of the bankers whose firms racked up billions in losses and brought the global economy to its knees just two years ago? Have you been happy to let people assume that it was merely a matter of greed-- that you didn't set out to lose the money, you just saw the potential dollar signs and couldn't help yourself? Well your cover is blown. We all know the truth now-- you wanted to lose, big time, because you're sick, sick fucks.

In an article published in Angelaki: Journal of the Theoretical Humanities, Dr Crosthwaite says that the willingness of banks to deal in subprime loans and related derivatives, which were bound to result in disastrous losses, can only be understood if the bankers unconsciously desired the destruction of their own institutions. Dr Crosthwaite argues that such catastrophic losses can be sources of masochistic pleasure for those who experience them.

Sure, it felt nice to make it rain in the years prior but after a while taking home fat paychecks no longer did it for you. You needed something more intense to get the tingling sensation. To feel alive again. So you came up with stuff like the the Merrill Lynch Enhanced Testicle Clamp CDO^4 Fund, strapped it on and said asked-- no, begged-- the market to make you its bitch.

[Crosthwaite] points to evidence that there is an element of masochistic satisfaction in the experience of running up losses, and that a full-blown crash is a source of euphoria as much as despair. His findings suggest that bankers and other investors take on excessive risks not simply because of an urge for high returns, but also out of an active desire for painful but exhilarating losses.

Bankers Derived 'Erotic Thrill' From Credit Crisis [Telegraph]


The Federal Reserve Says: Ditch That Scrub With The Sh*tty Credit Score

Janet et al, who are now giving out relationship advice: kick him (or her) to the curb before this whole thing ends in tears.

Go Ahead, Eye F*ck A Colleague: Science

Apparently it'll do wonders for your relationship, or something.

Was The Financial Crisis Caused By A Fictional Hooker-Loving Master Of The Universe? At Least One Guy Thinks Maybe

Several weeks back, Michael Douglas appeared in public service announcement shot by the FBI, in which he tells people that while they may have been taken by his character in Wall Street, that it's important to remember that that was just a movie and in real life, insider trading is wrong. Next up among actors who think roles they portrayed on the big screen contributed to the financial crisis is Richard Gere. Glamorizing being a corporate raider who made enough money to buy a hooker is his personal cross to bear. It was the modern-day fairytale that captivated hundreds of millions of film fans the world over. But it seems Pretty Woman holds nothing but regrets for its leading man, Richard Gere. While promoting his new financial thriller Arbitrage recently, the 62-year-old shared his scorn for the feelgood 1990 chick flick, telling Woman’s Day, “It’s my least favourite thing.” Richard adds, “People ask me about that movie, but I’ve forgotten it. That was a silly romantic comedy. This is a much more serious movie that has some real cause and effect.” Incredibly, the grumpy star also claims his Pretty Womancharacter Edward Lewis helped contribute to the global financial crisis, as he glorified greedy and selfish Wall Street types. “It made those guys seem dashing, which was so wrong,” Richard explains. Related, what's it gonna take to smoke Vin Diesel out of his hole? It's pretty obvious it was around the time his turn as senior broker in Boiler Room premiered that Dick Fuld ramped up the shit on Lehman Brothers balance sheet that ultimately took the firm down. Richard Gere: Pretty Woman Was Rubbish [WD via Dealbook]