Last night Daily Intel Jessica and I met Lloyd Blankfein's face. This is how it went down. Please read Act I here.
Scene: The Financial Times/Goldman Sachs Business Book of the Year Awards. The Pierre Hotel. Night.
Characters: Andrew Ross Sorkin, Lloyd Blankfein, Intel Jessica, Dealbreaker Bess, PR People, Assorted Nerds from the worlds of Media and Finance.
[People cutting into Jess and Bess's Time With Lloyd leave, finally]
Dealbreaker Bess: [Doesn't know what to say so just leads with the truth]: You're my muse.
Lloyd: [Lloyd Smile on]: Oh yeah?
Dealbreaker Bess: [Knows she should pump the brakes on this but can't, it's left the station]: Yes-- I love writing about you- you inspire me.
Lloyd: [Lloyd Grin on full blast]: I bet I could probably do me better than you do me if I tried [Laughs, touches DB BL's arm] No, I'm kidding. Who are your other muses?
Dealbreaker Bess: Well I really only have a few, distant to you. Steve Cohen, the hedge fund manager and [racks her brain] this guy...Lenny Dykstra.**
[Jess and Bess just gazing at Lloyd at this point, which is fine with them but they know they need to keep this going before someone dives in and takes him away. Drunk on LB, the thing that seems most logical to bring up next is a mutual friend]
Dealbreaker Bess: So Lucas says great things about you.
Lloyd: But he's an idiot! [cracking himself up] no, I'm kidding. Love Lucas.
[Someone from the FT taps Lloyd on shoulder to take pictures with the nominees, who everyone else is here to celebrate]
[Jess and Bess huddle.]
Intel Jessica: I need to have my picture taken with him.
Dealbreaker Bess: Okay, do you want to just go hover?
Intel Jessica: Is that weird?
Dealbreaker Bess: Yes...but I think it's going to be okay.
[Lloyd is taking pictures with the nominees, one of whom is Andrew Ross Sorkin]
Intel Jessica: I'm going in.
[Jessica crosses in front of the group. A look of horror passes across Andrew Ross Sorkin's face. "What is she doing???" he shrieks internally.]
Intel Jessica: [grabs the photographer] Will you take our picture?
Confused Photog: Sure!
[Intel Jessica wraps her arms around Lloyd. She feels a little like Koko with the kitten, only the kitten in this instance is the CEO of the world's most loathed and powerful financial institution. Photographer snaps shots, Sorkin still looks on in horror barely being able to believe Intel Jessica has turned his photoshoot with Lloyd into some scene at a suburban mall-- "Have Your Picture Taken With SantaBlankfein]
Lloyd: (Still beaming) You didn't really need a picture, you could have just PhotoShopped me in!
[Other people zoom in on Lloyd, pushing Jess and Bess toward the rear, near the dining room]
Hotel employee: [To Jess and Bess] People are going in to dinner now.
Bess: [Still fixated on Lloyd] We're just waiting for...our friend.
[Jess and Bess again huddle.]
Dealbreaker Bess: [This idea actually enters her mind and these words exit her mouth]: Should I ask him to do something with us?
Intel Jessica: Ooo, like an activity?
Dealbreaker Bess: Yes! But what do we want to do with him?
[Jessica considers, and then with absolute certainty.]
Intel Jessica: Ask him to play squash with us.
[Note: neither Jess nor Bess are squash players but somehow this just feels right.]
[Bess crosses the dining room.]
Dealbreaker Bess: Hi again.
Lloyd: [Lloyd Grin]: Hi there.
Dealbreaker Bess: So...who do you want to win?
Lloyd: I can't tell anyone! I'm surrounded by regulators all day [laughing]-- I know the rules!
Dealbreaker Bess: Okay that's fine...what I really came to say is...I feel like you should play squash with me and Jessica some time.
Lloyd: Oh I should?
Dealbreaker Bess: Yeah, it'll be really fun, you'll enjoy it. Trust me.
Lloyd: We'll have to play then!
And we will.
**Note: I mean the washed up, Twizzler-dangling Lenny Dykstra who got kicked out of his house, not the guy he was 25 years ago.