David Rosenberg: Your Loved Ones Might Buy You Gifts This Year But They Can't Be Bothered To Put Any Effort Into The Presentation


This year, you might be getting an i-Pad but it'll be handed to you in a plastic bag or not wrapped at all. Rosenberg doesn't want people jump to conclusions or freak out but this news could indicate several things and the neurotics among us should feel free to read into it meaning:

a) You significant other (mother, father, brother, sister, work BFF) doesn't know where to buy tape.

b) Your significant other wanted to wrap your gift but freaked out when he/she couldn't find the perfect paper, had a meltdown in the middle of the store and screamed "fuck it! I can't even do this!" and decided to go bare.

c) Your significant other (mom, dad, brother or work BFF) is a cheap bastard.

d) Your significant other knows how much you like prettily wrapped gifts (bows especially) and is doing this to send a message that he/she can no longer stand the sight of you, and it's over.

We’ll tell you this much. One price that is deflating that does not at all portend to the vibrant holiday shopping season, which everyone seems to be expecting, is the price of gift wrapping paper. It declined 1.2% sequentially in October on top of an 0.8% decline in September for a 12% slide at an annual rate. That is a record decline for this crucial time of the year and the price index is all the way down to January 2009 levels when hands were being wringed and knuckles turning white. Maybe this is just a case of not knowing where to buy the scissors, tape and paper (ask Larry David), or maybe it’s an early sign that the season may not be as jolly for those long the retailers as the consensus currently expects.


Bill Ackman And David Einhorn’s Love Blossomed On A Subway Platform But Now They Might Not Even Give Up Their Seat If The Other One Was Pregnant

Henry Winkler once said, "Assumptions are the termites of relationships."1 In 2011, Bill Ackman assumed it was okay to talk to The New York Times about David Einhorn's business and, like a homeowner forced to move out for three days while a pest control company sprays the place, he's been forced to pay for it, big time.

Presenting: Executive Bitches

For Valentine's Day this year, Fortune put together a slideshow of various executives, analysts, fund managers, and disgraced AIG CEOs posing with their one true loves-- their dogs. For the big names who missed the deadline to submit photos, fear not-- this feature is clearly going to become an annual thing. For those already mentally directing a photoshoot of yourself and Jamie the Younger, maybe running down Park Ave or shooting hoops at the Garden, you might first consider looking to this year's pioneering efforts for inspiration.