DE Shaw Layoffs Leave Their Mark

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The tradition of having your wedding announced in the Times Sunday Style section is a long and venerated one. Not to minimize the whole finding of one's soul mate aspect, but for many, the announcement is reason they're getting married. So it had to have chafed pretty badly for one couple when the husband's employer, a shop known for its intelligence but apparently not so much its sensitivity, ruined the whole thing.

Until last week, the bridegroom, 33, worked at D. E. Shaw & Company, an investment and technology development firm in New York, where he was a developer of software for trading and investing on stock exchanges.

It's one thing to layoff ten percent of your staff but when you fuck with the Times announcement, you go too far. This could've waited.

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D.E. Shaw Geniuses Build Their Greatest Model Yet

Do you worship at the Temple of Chipotle? Do you refuse to make use of the online order option that allows you to bypass the line, as one half of Team Dealbreaker does, but unlike said burrito lover, prefer not to show up before 12 so as to beat the rush? Would you die before patronizing some inferior establishment for lunch but would also like to know what kind of wait you're going to be dealing with before making the trip, or, alternatively, not really care how long you have to wait but just get off on predicting stuff to a 3-sigma confidence level? Some enterprising D.E. Shaw employees have got covered. FYI- D.E. Shaw employees have built a model that predicts the length of the line at the Chipotle down the street from the 1166 Ave of the Americas office. Not only that, they are really excited about how accurate it is. Obviously this needs to be shared and disseminated ASAP, for the greater good, unless it's being kept proprietary at this time for reasons that involve a little something called the DE Shaw Chipotle Line Length Fund I and investors who would pay 2 and 20, nay, 3 and 50 to get in on this little money-making machine. Related: Tools Of The Trade: How To Prove To DE Shaw You’re DE Shaw Material