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Lenny Dykstra No Longer Holds The Keys To His Kingdom

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Today brings some devastating news for legendary investor Lenny Dykstra. His Thousand Oaks manse, his most prized possession, has been sold in a foreclosure auction.

Dykstra bought the house from Wayne Gretzky in August 2007, for $18.5 million. It featured 8 bedrooms, a guest house, a carriage house, a pool and a tennis court. It was his crown jewel. When Nails ran into some money trubs, he did not want to sell but felt okay about it if the place could go to someone who truly valued it, which was why he attempted to score a 33% return after living there for ten months, putting the spread on the market for $24,950,000. Despite throwing in some extras that should've clinched the deal (the coup de grace of the package being LD’s “Discarded Dips Of Distinction,” a collection of chewing tobacco from the great moments in his illustrious career, tastefully encased in a white gold-flecked display case), Nails got no bites and his financial situation did not exactly improve. The banks told him he had to leave but he wasn't ready to part ways with his baby. When he was told they were serious, and that he needed to get the fuck out, ASAP, LD said fine, but not without a parting gift. Ripping out the bathroom fixtures (toilets and sinks, mostly), he vowed to return.

And while he didn't get a job, Dykstra made strides in the right direction. He sold pictures of himself on Craiglist, he offered to have phone sex with the highest bidder and after living “like Gandhi, out of a bag,” Dykstra somehow managed to land himself a 12th-story penthouse in Westwood while waiting to come back. He was said to have "several" projects planned, gets cases of Red Bull delivered every day and has a personal assistant named Destiny. And best of all, he had his spirit back, telling a reporter that his new theme song (and financial situation aspiration) is "Billionaire" and his long term goals is to be on the cover of Forbes. In the short term? He was ready to go home.

And now that dream has been smashed to pieces.

CNBC has learned that the hilltop mansion inside Sherwood Country Club which Lenny Dykstra bought from Wayne Gretzky for $17.5 million has been sold in a foreclosure auction. The winning bid (perhaps the only bid) came from Index Investors, the "hard money" lender which loaned Dykstra around $600,000 before his finances collapsed. Index Investors' attorney, Bruce Speiser, tells CNBC that Jeff Smith bought the home for a mere fraction of $25 million. In fact, he got it for close to the amount of money Dykstra owed Index, plus interest, between $600,000 and $700,000. However, Chase still has a lien on the property for its $12 million first mortgage. Speiser says Smith is working with Chase to come to terms whereby Smith would fix up the mansion and sell it, and both parties would share the profits. The bankruptcy court Trustee is also involved.

Index hopes to repair damage to the home blamed on Dykstra. Last year the former World Series great removed fixtures and flooring to show water damage to the property, demanding payment by Fireman's Fund. The insurer has since agreed to pay for a portion of the cost to repair the mansion and another home Dykstra owned inside Sherwood.

That's not even the worst part, which is that a bankruptcy court has barred Nails from coming near the manse. Now not only can he not move home, but can't "keep an eye on things" with a pair of binoculars from across the street, or squat on the backyard.

Lenny Dykstra's Mansion Sells At Auction [CNBC]


Prosecutors Want Jim Cramer-Endorsed Investor Lenny Dykstra To Do Thirty Months In Jail

They say that's the only way Dykstra* will learn that in our society, you can't rip toilets and other bathroom fixtures out of the floor and sell them to a pawn shops just because you feel like it, or drop trou for the cleaning staff.