Morgan Stanley Employee Is Deadly Serious About Dinner

Author:
Bess Levin
Updated:
Jan 14, 2019
Original:
Nov 16, 2010

From: [redacted at Morgan Stanley]
To: [his colleagues]
Subject: FOOD
Someone stole my dinner on Friday night...I'm not happy. I just want everyone to know that everyone is a suspect.

I'm stronger athletically and better looking than everyone in this office. I do background checks for a living and I will hunt you down. I will find you and when I do find you-- It's OVER. Dead. If you know something tell me and I will spare you.
TAX DEPARTMENT = DEAD
[redacted]
750 Seventh Avenue | New York, NY 10019

News

Specifically, her rights to Perrier on the company dime. It's unclear what this woman's name is so moving forward she'll simply be referred to as The One With Brass Balls And A Dislike Of Tap. The daily Seamless stipend is considered sacred for employees, and any abuse of the system appears generally overlooked by higher-ups. When Lehman Brothers went under, for instance, Morgan Stanley lowered the Seamless limit from $30 to $25, much to the anger of workers. "People went nuts," recalls a former employee. "Every so often there were these fireside chats with [Morgan Stanley CEO] John Mack 'Da Knife' and a collection of analysts. One of the women on the call asked Mack to raise the limit to $30 again. Mack, not really having paid much attention to expenses, was surprised to hear it had been reduced. Concerned, he asked her why she needed $30 instead of just $25. She said that with the new reduction, 'I can't order my Perrier anymore.'" The next day, as legend has it, there was an entire case of Perrier on her desk--courtesy of John Mack. In related news, the Morgan Stanley Seamless stipend is currently at $20. And while filing formal complaints at the top might have worked when MS was a free-for-all orgy of sparkling water and Italian pastries and whatever else your heart desired,** anyone considering pleading his/her case to James Gorman re: why this just won't do should also think about boxing their shit up first, lest a hasty exit be necessary. How Wall Street Bankers Use Seamless To Feast On Free Lobster, Steak, And Beer [Fast Company] **Particularly if what your heart desired was a pair of fierce as fuck shoes.

News

Morgan Stanley Employee Is Deadly Serious About Dinner

The Morgan Stanley Memo Draft

Morgan Stanley-Charlie Rose Collusion?

At Height Of Financial Crisis, One Morgan Stanley Employee Stood Up For Her Rights

John Mack Can Have His Artisanal Pigs-In-A-Blanket Sans Flak When Morgan Stanley's Stock Price Hits Triple Digits

Morgan Stanley Commodities Head Retires

Citi Is Dead Serious About Making This Thing Work

How To Think About The Zoe Cruz Ousting, Part I: People With Terrible Senses Of Humor

James Gorman To Morgan Stanley Employees: STFU Or GTFO